Jeff Dunham: 'Funny as a Block of F--king Wood'

"Sit down, son of a bitch, we're not finished," ventriloquist Jeff Dunham says to a TCA critic as he leaves the room.

Or, rather, his puppet -- Walter, the cranky old guy -- says it.

"You too!?" Dunham says to another critic exiting. "Should have pissed before you got here."

"Tense as Chris Brown's car in here."

"Our producer is laughing -- that's the only guy!"

These TV critics are not Dunham's ideal audience. He knows it. We know it. And we're all trying to get along the best we can as he promotes his new Comedy Central series. But he really wants us to find him funny. The critics are trying.

Except me. Before he took the stage I Tweeted, "$5 to the TCA critic who asks Dunham why people think he's funny."

Dunham gives some headline suggestions for critics should they choose to "rip our show apart." He suggests: "Jeff Dunham Show, Cast is Kind of Wooden" ... "Dunham Can Make Dolls Talk But Can't Make Viewers Laugh" ... "Jeff Dunham Show -- Funny as a Block of F--king Wood."

Dunham has proven he can draw a huge audience for Comedy Central. His Christmas special was the network's most-watched program of all time. The man deserves his own show. He has, as he points out, given an "old tired art [form] fresh paint." He notes how he "fought a stigma for years in the comedy clubs" while he learned his craft, which had to be a really rough way to earn a living. This is a success story.

But when he makes a joke about Comedy Central's lovely programming president Lauren Correo getting fired if his show flops, and says that Oxygen is hiring, and you see Correo, standing at the podium onstage, keeping a stiff smile on her face as Dunham-as-Walter adds, "Lauren, you should sit on Jeff's other knee and [he'll] stick his hand up your -- back ... "

You kinda want to punch him in the face.

Not Walter, Dunham.

"These are TV critics right?" says Dunham/Walter. "They don't have to laugh out loud right, just write 'lol lol' ... Print -- remember that? You going to wait to get laid off? Or take the early severance package?"

Oh and hey, thanks for the headline suggestion.

More Live Feed coverage of the 2009 summer TCA press tour