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'Looper' Dismayed By Future Baldness in Time-Travel Parody (Video)

The Joseph Gordon-Levitt stand-in is more upset by his receding hairline than threats of death from his mafia bosses.

Looper Parody Funny or Die - H 2012

Thirty years from now, time travel will have been invented, but a cure for baldness will not have been. And that really bums out the Joseph Gordon-Levitt character in a  Funny or Die Looper parody.

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Rather than worrying that his mafia bosses are going to kill him for failing to eliminate his older self, this looper is far more concerned with his older counterpart’s lack of hair.

"How much longer before I go bald," he demands.

The young looper starts having nightmares about finding hair on his pillow, and asks his girlfriend if his hair is looking thinner.

“Do we start growing a ponytail, wearing a leather jacket?” the young looper asks his older counterpart at a diner.

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“There was a period where we wore a baseball hat all the time,” the older one says.

Finally, the young looper angers his counterpart by asking if being bald is trendy in the future. The answer, sadly, is no.

Watch the video below.