10:57pm PT by Ryan Gajewski
'The Bachelorette' Season 11 Premiere: Kaitlyn and Britt Butt Heads, One Guy Gets Kicked Off
Things got even more awkward than usual on the season-11 premiere of The Bachelorette, as Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson both wished the other wasn't there, one guy got kicked off the show and we got to learn what Chris Harrison would look like riding a dinosaur. Who among us hasn't pondered what the host would look like on a dinosaur?
The episode was all about the season's novel twist, with both Kaitlyn and Britt forced to fend for votes in order to be anointed the official rose distributor. As the women described their thoughts leading up to the limos' arrival, it was clear they were on very different pages, as Britt was as confident as ever, while Kaitlyn was not relishing the thought of competing.
The men began to show up and got to choose which woman to say hello to first, thus contributing to the ladies' stress. Kaitlyn in particular was struggling with the introduction process, as she felt that more men were initially spending more time with Britt. That said, she had no problem letting Britt get the lion's share of the male stripper's attention.
Kaitlyn's spirits appeared to get a significant boost when former track star Ian whispered to her that she was the reason he was there. This later led to Kaitlyn running into the house to tell the already-arrived men that she loved meeting them, which clearly rubbed Britt the wrong way.
Among the memorable arrivals were Shawn B., who Britt confessed to the camera to be falling for, only for him to quickly tell Kaitlyn that he had his eye on her. Tony, the 35-year-old "healer," lost serious points after delivering the exact same speech to both women about the universe providing. Also, we got to see a cupcake car and a literal "car pool," as the show apparently now has a "BYO hot tub" policy.
As if there weren't enough inherent drama with the setup, Ryan and his thong bathing suit brought plenty more. Ryan — who actually used to date Bachelor season-18 winner Nikki Ferrell — quickly got intoxicated and proceeded to pick fights with the guys, including "amateur sex coach" Shawn E. (so many of this season's professions require quotation marks). After Ryan repeatedly used the phrase "horned up," threatened one guy with rape and got handsy with Kaitlyn, Chris Harrison — no, Ryan, thankfully it was not "Chris Hansen," the erstwhile host of To Catch a Predator — pulled him aside and asked him to leave. Good night, sweet prince.
The men continued to do their best to prove themselves, which, for Clint, meant showing Kaitlyn a drawing he had done of Harrison riding a Triceratops. (Watch your back, Chris Pratt.) A number of the men admitted to being uncertain about who deserves their rose, with some of them changing their minds.
Finally, it was time to cast votes. Some were clearly on Team Britt, like healer Tony and musician Brady, who rated her a "solid billion" on a 1-to-10 scale (who says this show is prone to hyperbole?). Others were already smitten with Kaitlyn, including Shawn B., who gave her a picture drawn by his nephew. (With all the artwork, it was sometimes hard to tell whether this was The Bachelorette or an auction at Christie's.)
As was safe to assume with a two-part premiere, viewers didn't learn who got the most roses, which will be announced in Tuesday's follow-up. And given that guys like Shawn E. — who spent far too long talking about anal toys — won't be eliminated until a Bachelorette is firmly in place, let's hope the winner gets announced as soon as humanly possible.
Which of the two Bachelorettes are you hoping prevails? Did any of the guys impress you? Are you planning to start using the phrase "horned up" in your everyday vernacular? (Please say no to that last one.) Let us know in the comments!