5:01am PT by Ryan Gajewski
'The Bachelorette': Kaitlyn Has Sex, Calls It a "Stupid F—ing Mistake"
Kaitlyn hopped into a coffin — and into bed — in Monday's steamy installment of The Bachelorette. The new episode of the ABC dating series featured one guy leaving voluntarily, another on the verge of doing so and a third guy talking about pulling out his own teeth. Yes, good times all around.
The episode picked up where last week's left off, with Ian delivering his insulting rant, telling Kaitlyn she's not the woman he's looking for. He then made his indignant exit and stormed out.
Ian resumed his huffing and puffing when he got in the limo. During the drive, he continued his campaign to be the next Bachelor (best of luck with that, Ian) and claimed he was "being punished for being an intellectual." No, Ian — Socrates was punished for being an intellectual; you're just a guy who's decided he's too good for a dating show that he voluntarily chose to participate in.
After Ian's departure, Nick helped cheer Kaitlyn up before the rose ceremony with plenty of kissing, much to the chagrin of the other guys. Just before the ceremony, dentist Chris claimed that he would pull out his own tooth to get a rose, thus revealing that he doesn't have a clear grasp of how the show works. Joshua and Justin were left empty-handed after the roses were doled out, with Joshua particularly irked that Nick still was standing. Translation: Joshua is going to hate the rest of this episode.
Then the gang headed to Dublin, where Nick got the one-on-one date, and the guys worried that Shawn might not take the news well. Nick and Kaitlyn's date consisted of ... well, there was definitely kissing. Other than that — and cowering from some birds — not a whole lot happened. But did we mention the kissing?
The two then made their way to Kaitlyn's suite, where they learned an important lesson: Always unclip your microphones before you get better acquainted with someone on a network-TV show. "I want to know every part of you," viewers heard Nick tell Kaitlyn from behind the closed door, presumably causing millions of people to cringe in unison.
The next morning, the pair individually admitted to the camera that they had sex. Kaitlyn didn't have regrets — until she started thinking about how the other guys might react. Nick, always his humble self, promptly returned to the other men and told them that the two shared an "intimate" time in Kaitlyn's hotel room. Nick clearly does not know the meaning of "playing it cool."
On the group date, the guys delivered eulogies for Kaitlyn's fake funeral, proving once and for all that the show has completely run out of date ideas. Indeed, it was painful to watch Ben Z. go through the wake, having lost his mom at a young age. But Ben — who, by the way, resembles country singer Sam Hunt, minus the extensive baseball-cap collection — remained a good sport. Meanwhile, JJ and Joe learned they would be going on the dreaded two-on-one date.
Shawn and Kaitlyn had a touching moment when he shared his family photos (which is a move that never would work on a real-life date, by the way), but Kaitlyn gave the date rose to Jared. Shawn clearly was miffed and seemed to be on the verge of walking out. Meanwhile, Jared had to listen to a live performance by The Cranberries, so it's hard to say who the real winner was here.
By the end of the episode, Shawn decided to pay Kaitlyn a visit, causing her to be racked with guilt over her night of passion with Nick. "It's gonna kill me if Shawn tells me he doesn't want to be here anymore because of a stupid f—ing mistake," Kaitlyn told the camera. And so, as has become the norm this season, the episode ended without a rose ceremony.
Are you surprised that Kaitlyn and Nick slept together? Do you think Shawn has a right to be so upset? Are you planning to throw a fake funeral for your next date? Let us know in the comments!