June 19, 2012 3:22pm PT by Lesley Goldberg
Charlie Sheen: 'Dave Chappelle Cost Me My Job' and 9 Other Amazing Quotes From His Media Blitz
According to Charlie Sheen, Dave Chappelle is responsible for his very public meltdown last year that resulted in the actor being fired from CBS' Two and a Half Men.
Sheen has been making the rounds as he promotes his upcoming FX comedy Anger Management, offering up a plethora of sound bites about his unraveling that saw him popularize terms including "winning," "warlocks" and "tiger blood" -- "that went a little far," he admits -- to blasting former Men showrunner Chuck Lorre.
1. "Everybody thought I had OD’d or whatever. No, I had a f---ing hernia blow out of my stomach. I called the paramedics, because that’s what you do, right? It was because of a Dave Chappelle sketch. Remember the scene where he’s a blind white supremacist who doesn’t know he’s black? It’s f---ing hilarious. I’d never seen it, and I laughed myself into a hernia. That is 100 percent true. It’s his fault. There you go. Dave Chappelle cost me my job." -- On the "real" cause of his Men axing (in an interview with Playboy).
2. "When I’m done with this business, it’s just going to be about soccer games and amusement parks. And when this ends, I’m done. This is my swan song." -- On his post-Anger Management career plans (to The Times).
3. “Most of it came out of nowhere. It wasn’t planned, it was just random. The tiger blood? I don’t know. It’s just a very dangerous animal. And there’s a tiger in Apocalypse Now, by the way, so maybe there’s a connection there. Adonis DNA? I don’t know what the f--- that was about. That was just stupid. That went a little far.” -- On the terms he popularized amid his meltdown last year (to Playboy).
4. “I’m not saying I’ll never be with a prostitute again. But it’s hard. Parts of it are soulless, and parts of it are nourishing. It’s always a roll of the dice.” -- On his attraction to escorts (to Playboy).
5. "I’m done playing a drunken, womanizing, immature character. This time I’m playing an adult. The guy on Anger Management is professionally accomplished, a former ballplayer learning to overcome his anger issues.” -- On no longer wanting to play characters like Men's Charlie Harper (to Playboy).
6. “I have a deal with them. They have one, maybe two chances to call me anytime, no questions asked, and I will come and get them. But if there are signs of any physical damage on their bodies, then there’s going to be gunplay involved. It’s a whole different story for whatever house they’re leaving. That shit gets burned to the ground. Period, the end. When it comes to my kids, I don’t play around.” -- On fatherhood (to Playboy).
7. "I'm not this f---ing weirdo. I don't create havoc, mayhem, wreckage. I mean, I did for a while. But it was never part of the master plan. I was just trying to keep shit propped up while it was crumbling." -- On the real Sheen (to Rolling Stone).
8. "I can't help myself with this guy, sorry. He's a turd. A turd! The good news is, he's no longer stuck to my shoe." -- On Lorre (to Rolling Stone).
9. "What's that mean? Wow. And then what? What's the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not gonna happen. I'm bi-winning." -- On the theory that he suffered from bipolar disorder as the cause of his meltdown (to Rolling Stone).
10. "I like women's feet, too. I've not dated girls because of their feet -- just the length of certain toes and the shape of where things should be and they're not. Hammertoes are bad. And the second toe being too long? That's bad, too." -- On his foot fetish (to Rolling Stone).
Anger Management premieres June 28 on FX. Should the series hit certain ratings benchmarks, it will be picked up for an additional 90 episodes, per the cable network's arrangement with distributor Debmar-Mercury.