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OCT
25
1 years

Colbert and Fellow Late Night Hosts Blister Donald Trump's 'Bombshell' Offer (Video)

In response to the billionaire-reality star's pledge of $5 million for the president's college records, Colbert offered a mouthful of his own.

The Colbert Report Donald Trump Announcement - H 2012
Comedy Central

Donald Trump, the balls are now in your court.

After two days of hype, the billionaire and media magnet revealed his "bombshell" announcement about President Obama: that he would donate $5 million in exchange for the president's college transcripts. Though all attention is good attention for The Donald, it's likely that he did not receive the response he was expecting; instead of praise and electoral shockwaves with his name on them, Trump mostly just got mocked.

After hours of Twitter derision, he took a hit from the president himself, who joked on the Tonight Show that he and Trump have a rivalry going back to their days in Kenya, a nod at Trump's persistent birtherism beliefs. But that was just the tip of the iceberg; the rest of the late night lineup also got in their cracks about the backfiring bombshell.

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Most prominent, perhaps, was Stephen Colbert, who made his own major offer: he would donate $1 million to any charity of Trump's choosing, if Trump allowed him to "dip my balls in your mouth."

And as he made clear, "this dipping has to be to my -- and, more importantly, to my balls’ -- satisfaction."

"Nothing would make me happier than to write this check," he continued. "And nothing would make America happier than have something going into your mouth than coming out of it."

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Conan O'Brien addressed Trump's offer in his monologue, saying, "Obama responded by sending Trump a full transcript from his alma matter, University of Shove it Up Your Ass."

In a service to his viewers, Jimmy Kimmel added a subtitled translation of Trump's announcement YouTube video. "I am the most attention-starved person in the history of this country," his crack team translated The Donald as saying. "Even I don't believe my own bullshit anymore... I wet the bed until I was 14. My mother hung the sheets out my window so that everyone could see them. The other kids called me Diaper Donald. I have no intention of giving anything to anyone for any reason... My wife speaks no English. I am a very lonely man."