July 17, 2014 7:38am PT by Hilary Lewis
Cory Monteith's Mom Opens Up Year After Son's Death: 'The Loss is Horrendous'
Cory Monteith's mom is just now beginning to accept the death of her son, more than a year after he died of a drug overdose, she said in an exclusive interview that aired on Thursday's Good Morning America.
"The loss is horrendous," Ann McGregor said. "Until three days ago, I couldn't look at a picture of Cory, so there's been progress."
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McGregor added that she still can't talk about the night she found out her son died, and she hasn't been able to watch Glee since Monteith's death, so she didn't see how the show handled it.
The last time she spoke to Monteith was two days before his death, when he was planning to sign a lease on a new place in Vancouver.
McGregor believes her son was "easing himself out of" the Hollywood scene, but when asked whether she blames Hollywood for Monteith's death, she's unwilling to go that far.
"I don't think blame is a good thing to do, no," she said. "That was his choice."
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She was also hesitant to give advice to mothers of stars in similar predicaments to the one her son was in, saying she doesn't think parents can change their children's choices. All she could offer was a plea to honor the present.
"Live every moment. Grab the second," she said.
McGregor also talked about her son's childhood and when she started seeing signs of trouble, even sharing exclusive photos and videos with ABC News (included in the below clip).
"Cory always had that mischievous side of him, always looking for stimulation," his mother said, adding that her son had a code blue at age 15, calling that "the turning point."
"I remember after Cory's first OD, the drive we took, and all I did was stare into his eyes and hug him and look at him cause I had this feeling, I really want to know him, 'cause I'm not going to have him my entire life," she said.
Watch McGregor's full interview below.