7:50am PT by Jordan Zakarin
Jon Stewart Announces Obama's Win; Stephen Colbert Mourns It (Videos)
For a "fake" newscaster, Jon Stewart sure looked like a network anchor on Tuesday night.
The Daily Show host presided over a live broadcast of his Emmy-winning satire program on Tuesday, wrapping up Indecision 2012 with a bizarro version of cable and broadcast news networks' all-night coverage. And though it was anticipated that the election would go late into the night, enough states on the electoral map were colored blue by just after 11 pm ET that Stewart was able to announce on air that President Obama had won re-election.
There were no bells and whistles (or holograms or lit-up landmarks) accompanying his announcement, as he almost buried the lede by declaring the GOP and Democrats split Congress before giving the nod to Obama.
"Two years, $3 billion dollars, and we are clearly in the same place as where we started," Stewart said. And then, he went into mockery mode, bringing on a hologram of George Washington -- played by Jason Jones -- in a big shot at CNN and the rest of the pundit class.
By then, NBC News and Fox had given the election to the president, though with the fractured coverage of the evening, it took the nation quite a while to fully grip and recognize Obama's victory. But it didn't take long for "Stephen Colbert" to go into despair.
"America has elected its first black president for an historic first second time," he said. "Frankly folks, I'm stunned. I really thought Romney would win. I'll never get to see Romney's inaugural ball, and his first dance with Rafalca.
"I'll tell you what: we job creators are not going to take it. We're going Galt!" Colbert continued. "Just think: Obamacare is here to stay. Sure, a single illness won't wipe out your life savings. But at what cost? A lower one. And now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care, instead of immediately not getting any."