Dana Carvey's Church Lady Weighs In on the Election on 'SNL': "Jesus Is Not on the Ballot"

"Do we vote for a bitter, female android from the '90s? Or a riverboat gambler with a big tummy and an orange head?"
Dana Carvey as Church Lady on 'Saturday Night Live'

Dana Carvey returned as Church Chat's beloved host Church Lady on Saturday Night Live to compare presidential nominees Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton ahead of Election Day.

Carvey, donning the character's signature purple jacket and wig, dropped by Weekend Update to chat with co-host Colin Jost about the country's two options for president and her new obsession, Westworld.

"Thank you for having me on your little midnight shindig," Church Lady told Jost. "Instead of resting up for church, you're staying up late making naughty jokes about Anthony's wiener. Not quite the path of Jesus, is it?"

"I thought we had some fun jokes," Jost replied, prompting Church Lady to reply back with her well-known catchphrase: "Well, isn't that special?"

Jost then asked her about her thoughts on the current election cycle, which will come to an end on Tuesday. Church Lady said she wasn't impressed with either candidate.

"Do we vote for a bitter, female android from the '90s? Or a riverboat gambler with a big tummy and an orange head?" she said.

When asked who she would be voting for, she spat back, "Jesus is not on the ballot, Colin. … I suppose you're going to write in your favorite candidate — Satan!"

Jost probed her by asking if there was anything out there — non-election related — that she actually enjoyed. Her response? "Westworld."

When Jost expressed disbelief that Church Lady would be a fan of the risque HBO series, she told him, "What's not to like? A land of naked cowboy robots fornicating. They should have called it West … Hollywood."

Church Lady ended her visit to Weekend Update by seemingly leaving audiences with hope for the future: "What a lovely little country we have here. Sometimes I look around and I think to myself, what a wonderful world."

Breaking out into song, Carvey, as Church Lady, then sang the lyrics to Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" as images of Anthony Weiner's sexting scandal, Trump and Clinton flashed on the screen.

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