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JAN
15
8 MOS

'Duck Dynasty' Premiere: 5 Most Ridiculous Conversations

Phil Robertson makes a non-controversial return to television to discuss (among other things) whether Jason Bourne is superior to Air Bud and the health benefits of tossing around dung.

Duck Dynasty Season 5 Uncle Si - H 2014
A+E
"Duck Dynasty"

Duck Dynasty and the Robertson clan are back and up to their old tricks.

The family returned to A&E on Wednesday for its season 5 premiere, the first episode following the temporary suspension of patriarch Phil Robertson, who came under fire for anti-gay remarks he made in a GQ profile.

There was no hint of the controversy, which erupted after shooting for the season had already wrapped, but there were plenty of ridiculous topics covered. Here are the five most out-there conversations from the hourlong premiere.

Is Air Bud better than Jason Bourne? (Phil and Si)

It's safe to say Phil Robertson's thoughts on The Bourne Trilogy are not nearly as controversial as his thoughts on homosexuality or teen marriage. When Si Robertson brings over his VHS collection of some of his favorite movies – Air Bud and its many sequels among them – Phil suggests they watch one of the Bourne films. Si protests, but Phil won't have it.

"Could a dog do what Bourne does?" Phil asks, adding incredulously: "You'll take a dog playing basketball over Bourne?" Si, meanwhile, professes his love for the animal-athlete genre: "Seventh Inning Fetch -- it made Field of Dreams look like Rookie of the Year."

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Loving Nacho Libre can get you a job. (Willie and cousin John David)

Willie Robertson is adamant that he won't hire his wife Korie's cousin John David, an unkempt young man who members of the Robertson clan say looks like a "cave man." Willie reluctantly interviews John David to be his assistant, and immediately warms to the boy after John David quotes Jack Black's 2006 film Nacho Libre.  The two trade quotes back and forth and John David is hired on the spot. A true match made in assistant heaven.

Kids, want to stay healthy? Toss around some dung! (Phil and the kids)

Phil shares his secrets to health with the youngest members of the Robertson clan. Among them? Going outside and tossing dung at each other.

What the heck are emojis? (The men)

Young John Luke explains the art of the emoji to his elders -- who are uniformly dismayed that he is so into them. During the same conversation, which is primarily about the merits of the group text, Jase reveals that he hates them: "Stop having a conversation on my phone!"

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Si doesn't mind staying home alone.

Si gets lured into staying over at Phil's house because Phil's wife can't stand the thought of the sick man staying home alone. "I'm like that young kid who was home alone. Macaulay Culkin," says Si. "I'll be all right."

In the end he makes himself more than at home at his brother's place, all while he and Phil enumerate Si's many illnesses. According to Phil, Si has had "anti-virus, shanti-virus, phantom limb syndrome, and of course: sausage fingers."  

Duck Dynasty airs at 9 p.m. ET/PT on A&E.