'Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals': 10 Funniest Jokes From Comedy Central's Prison Special

The roast master cracked jokes about Suge Knight, Bill Cosby and a number of the Brazos County inmates during his show from inside the prison.
Robert H. Levey
A scene from 'Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals.'

Jeff Ross delivered his latest roast to a very different crowd. 

The roast master for the Comedy Central Roasts headed to Brazos County Detention Center in Texas to hurl lighthearted insults at the inmates in a special that aired Saturday on the cable channel.

Ross, who emphasized that he believes in second chances, also shared some heartfelt moments with the convicts, learning personal things about them, such as their hopes for the future and what they miss about the outside. 

Here are 10 of the comedian's best jokes from Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals.

— [To a youthful-looking inmate] "You're one of those rare people who looks like a child and a child molester at the same time."

— [To a group of white supremacists in the audience] "We got the whites-only section up there. Happy Hanukkah, fellas." 

— [On his own questionable behavior] "I've drank and driven a car, I've lied on my taxes, I shot Suge Knight."

— [Pointing to the mushy, unappetizing food] "We got Bill Cosby's rape baby over here."

— [To an older-looking inmate who has been in prison for a month] "A month? Looks like you've been in here since Shawshank times. I'd say turn your life around, but you look like you have 30 days left to live, shit."

— [On paying one's debt to society] "An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth. Some of you look like you've given more than others."

— "The good thing about a jail show is, nobody gets up and walks out."

— "Frank, you look like what happens when the morning-after pill kind of works."

— [At the women's prison] "One guy, 50 female prisoners. This is like the first scene of every porno I've ever seen. I should be delivering a pizza right now."

— "Wait, are you guys laughing extra loud because somebody's trying to build a tunnel right now?"

Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals aired Saturday at 11 p.m. on Comedy Central.

Email: Ryan.Gajewski@THR.com
Twitter: @_RyanGajewski

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