John Oliver Unleashes on Donald Trump, Claims Actual Family Name Is "Drumpf"

"Donald Trump is America’s back mole: it may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s gotten frighteningly bigger, it is no longer wise to ignore it."
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'Last Week Tonight With John Oliver'

Ahead of Super Tuesday, John Oliver used Sunday's episode of Last Week Tonight to talk all about Donald Trump, "and I say that knowing that every time his name is said out loud, he has a shattering orgasm."

"Donald Trump is America’s back mole: it may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s gotten frighteningly bigger, it is no longer wise to ignore it," said Oliver, pointing out how inherently funny the GOP candidate has been. "There's a part of me that even likes this guy — it's a part of me I hate, but it is a part of me!"

The host noted Trump's appeal as "a protest candidate with attractive qualities" but zoomed in on them to check their accuracy — an attribute that much of what he says is lacking. His campaign (collecting nearly $7.5 million in individual contributions) isn't necessarily self-funded, his skin isn't as thick as he leads on, and he's repeatedly threatened people with lawsuits but doesn't follow through, outlined Oliver. As for his brand as a successful businessman, he once noted that his wealth depends on  "feelings, even my own feelings. ... And that can change rapidly from day to day," he said, listing his shuttered businesses and noting that properties with his name are likely licensed.

"Whatever you think about Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, at least you basically know where they stand, but Trump’s opinions have been wildly inconsistent," Oliver said. "He’s been pro-choice and pro-life, for and against assault weapon bans, in favor of both bringing in Syrian refugees and deporting them out of the country, and that inconsistency can be troubling." Most recently, Trump lightly shook off the recent endorsement by former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke, and "with an answer like that, you are either racist or you are pretending to be, and at some point, there is no difference there. ... We have no way of knowing which of his inconsistent views he will hold in office. ... But when he’s sworn in as president on January 20, 2017, on that day, his opinions are going to matter. And you will remember that date, because it’s the one that time travelers from the future will come back to to try and stop the whole thing from happening."

However, one biographer noted that Trump's family name was once changed from Drumpf. “If you are thinking of voting for Donald Trump, the charismatic guy promising to ‘Make America Great Again,’ stop and take a moment to imagine how you would feel if you just met a guy named Donald Drumpf: a litigious, serial liar with a string of broken business ventures and the support of a former Klan leader who he can’t decide whether or not to condemn," said Oliver, who has filed to trademark Drumpf and is selling new merchandise with #MakeDonaldDrumpfGreatAgain (which was still trending on Twitter Monday morning). "Would you think he would make a good president, or is the spell now somewhat broken?"

Watch the video below.

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