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MAR
27
4 MOS

Parvati Shallow Recaps 'Survivor': A Quit and a Blindside

The three-time competitor and winner of "Survivor: Micronesia" shares her insights into the CBS show every week on THR.com.

Survivor: CAGAYAN We Found Our Zombies Episodic - H 2014
CBS
Wednesday night's episode of "Survivor"

We learned two things after watching the most recent episode of Survivor: Cagayan:

1. Trish is really a man. 

2. It's worse for a child to watch his mom lose her temper than it is for him to watch his mom quit when times get tough.

Really??

It's no secret that people are pushed to their breaking points on Survivor. Contestants are cold, wet, hungry, tired and lonely. The environment lacks stability and comfort and leads to a complete nervous-system failure. If you are capable of controlling your emotional reactions in such an environment, then you will do well in the game. If not, you’ll probably end up sabatoging yourself like Lindsey, our most recent castaway to leave the game.

I have to admit, Lindsey's quit came as a shock to me. She was in a solid majority alliance throughout the entire game, and after her ally was blindsided at the very first tribal council she has ever attended, she quits. Why? Yes, Trish was gloating after her victorious tribal, but that's no reason to scuttle off and just leave the game. What gives, Lindsey?

PHOTOS: Meet the 'Brawn vs. Brains vs. Beauty' Castaways

Jeff Probst didn't pry into Lindsey's soul after her decision to leave. He simply allowed her to go quietly into the night. No fanfare. No calling her a "disgrace" like he did with Colton Cumbie from last season's Blood vs. Water series. It looks like Jeff doesn't even care. I can only guess that he wants quitters to have the very least amount of airtime as possible, because quitting Survivor sucks. 

When the two tribes meet each other on the mat for the reward challenge, jaws drop and smiles spread from ear to ear. Aparri is in love with the loss of both Cliff and Lindsey. I can't say I blame them. The self-destruction of a tribe normally spells it's loss in the next challenge. Spencer, always the mathematician, is happy his odds have increased and he didn’t have to do anything to make it happen. 

Unfortunately, Morgan's boobs don't get hosed down this time, and Spencer's joy is short-lived, as he finds himself on the losing tribe once again. With their victory, Solana happily chooses two pirates to raid the Aparri beach. Eager volunteers, Woo and Tony, take off to make mischief and plunder for comfort. Once they reach the enemy’s beach, they read the messages they received at the reward challenge. One states the items they are permitted to steal, the other describes the whereabouts of a hidden immunity idol at Solana beach. Tony jumps at the chance to take out Jeremiah, a strong threat from Aparri. He uses the clue to isolate Jeremiah from his tribe and puts a huge target on his back.

Lying, cheating, stealing, Tony is working hard for the money. I like that he's one of the few people actually taking initiative in making strategic plays, but he's also exposed his Achilles' heel. It's only a matter of time before his prideful boasting and his need for validation from others takes him down. LJ is sitting back and taking it all in. He's watching Tony, listening more than he speaks and keeping his immunity idol under wraps. If anyone's in control on Solana beach, it's the horse whisperer.

VIDEO: Watch the First 4 Minutes of the 'Survivor' Premiere

Speaking of control, LJ and Woo dominate the puzzle, winning the immunity challenge and sending Aparri back to their comfort-forsaken beach to decide who's torch to snuff at tribal. Alexis campaigns hard against her fellow Beauty, Jeremiah, claiming he cannot be trusted and will betray the team once the merge happens. The problem with Alexis is that she is completely unaware that she is also seen as a potential traitor in the eyes of her teammates. That, and she isn't coming across as the least bit trustworthy or authentic.

In the end, Aparri shocks Alexis by voting her out and sends her off to cry herself to sleep in a nice, warm, cozy bed at loser lodge. Morgan's massive, demonic smile betrays her true feelings as she watches her former Beauty tribemate scoot off down the trail of shame. I cannot wait to see what this devious little rogue Beauty will do once we have a merge next week. It's five-on-five with Sarah in the middle!

Stay tuned … 

@parvatishallow

Join me, Lindsey and Alexis on Survivor Live on CBS.com/survivor at 1pm PST. I hope to see you there!