'SNL' Takes on Sequester in Cold Open (Video)
President Obama reveals how the big cuts will affect public services -- and the results aren't pretty.
Saturday Night Live used its cold open to tackle the hot political topic of the week, the budget sequester.
President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) took time to explain how the $85 billion in budget cuts would affect the country, noting that even in the White House, people would be feeling the pain.
“From now on, my wife Michelle will only do four television appearances a week, down from her usual 75,” Obama said. And vice president Joe Biden will now need approval before ordering more fathead posters for his room.
Obama then trotted out public-sector workers to talk about how their departments would be affected. An air-traffic controller (Cecily Strong) said she would now have to watch a Doritos commercial before looking at her screen, and that the TSA no longer had the money for full-body scans. (Passengers would be asked to text a revealing picture of themselves instead.)
A border-control agent (Bill Hader) said Mexicans would now be allowed to run across the border, and an astronaut (Kate McKinnon) said the front of space helmets would no longer have glass. In addition, a Washington, D.C., zookeeper (Jason Sudeikis) said the zoo would be selling its horses to Taco Bell.
The big finale came when a sailor, a highway patrolman, a construction worker and a Native American (all sporting Village People mustaches) came together for Obama to tell them: “Young men, there’s no need to feel down.”
Kevin Hart hosted this week's episode of SNL on NBC.
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