March 31, 2014 6:47am PT by Ashley Lee
Lindsay Lohan Talks Acting Plans, Staying Clean and Oprah's 'Guiding Light' (Video)
Lindsay Lohan is definitely a loyal viewer of her OWN docuseries, Lindsay, because playing it all back has been a key part of her experience.
"It was really scary at first because I didn't expect it to be what it became," the actress told Ellen Degeneres in an Ellen episode that airs Monday. "I just wanted to get back into anything that felt like work mode, just as a schedule, and be on a routine. And then it got really overwhelming and strange. It was scary, but it was probably one of the best things I've ever allowed myself to do. This is the first time that I'm actually seeing experiences that I had, and they're just right in front of me."
Lohan explained that the pressure of the cameras isn't what helped her stay clean after rehab this time, saying, "This was the first time that, when I went to treatment this time and I went to Cliffside, I really just wanted a moment for myself. I learned a lot of tools and things that I didn't learn in the past. In the past, a lot of it, people don't know this, but I was sent to rehab to avoid them trying to put me in jail. It was not something that I wanted or was ready for. It was something that -- it was kind of just going with the motions."
Instead, her move back to New York City to be closer to her family has also helped greatly, and she looks forward to returning to acting. "That's what makes me happy, so I'm just gonna do what I have to do to get there again."
She's also staying grounded with help from Oprah Winfrey. "I speak to her almost every day -- she's been so amazing to me, for everything," Lohan said. "She got me really into meditation -- she's one of the reasons why that's such a big part of my life. She's just been a really strong guiding light and force to me, as a friend and someone that I admire."
Watch the interview clips below: