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3 GEEZERS! Film Still - H 2013

3 Geezers!: Film Review

9:29 AM PDT 5/22/2013 by Frank Scheck

The Bottom Line

You'll feel old watching this relentlessly vulgar and unfunny raunchfest.

Director

Michelle Schumacher

Cast

J.K. Simmons, Basil Hoffman, Lou Beatty Jr., Anthony Cummings, Tim Allen, Kevin Pollak, Scott Caan

A trio of senior citizens make life hell for actor J.K. Simmons in this outrageous mockumentary.

Spousal loyalty is taken to extremes in 3 Geezers! That this misbegotten raunchy comedy was directed by his wife and co-scripted by his brother-in-law surely accounts for the presence of veteran character actor J.K. Simmons in the starring role of an actor who goes to an old-age home to research a part, only to wind up in a geriatric version of Animal House.

Unlike the senior citizens who gleefully prank younger people on TV’s Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, it’s the elderly characters on display here who are the main subject of ridicule. Concentrating largely on a trio of men (an endlessly game Basil Hoffman, Lou Beatty Jr. and Anthony Cummings) who delight in outrageous gags involving bodily functions and sex, its portrait of old age as a period of freewheeling uninhibitedness is far less celebratory than offensive.

Simmons, essentially playing a version of himself, mainly serves as a straight man for the titular oldsters at the aptly named Coconuts Convalescent Home, who spend their free time -- and they have a lot of it -- indulging in such activities as rapping along with obscene hip-hop songs, posing nude for a webcam, and pleasuring themselves after witnessing a bikini-clad female octogenarian emerge from a pool, a la Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Proving that ill-advised professional generosity still runs rampant in Hollywood, a gallery of familiar faces show up for brief, mostly unamusing cameos in this mockumentary. These include Tim Allen, Scott Caan, Breckin Meyer, Randy Couture, Mike O’Malley, Kevin Pollak (who at least provides his hilarious Christopher Walken impression) and director Sam Raimi, seen during the end credits delivering the fitting final words on the proceedings.

Barely managing to fill its brief running time despite its surfeit of smuttily vulgar gags, 3 Geezers! proves a less than subtle argument for euthanasia.  

Opens: Wednesday, May 22 (Gravitas Ventures)

Productions: Rubber Tree Productions

Cast: J.K. Simmons, Basil Hoffman, Lou Beatty Jr., Anthony Cummings, Tim Allen, Mike O’Malley, Kevin Pollak, Scott Caan, Randy Couture, Sam Raimi, Breckin Meyer, Fernanda Romero

Director/editor: Michelle Schumacher

Screenwriters/producers: Randle Schumacher, Eric Radzan, Anthony Cummings

Director of photography: Peter Villani

Costume designer: Suzan Meier

Composers: Rick Amezcua, Randle Schumacher

Not rated, 81 min.