'A Deadly Adoption': 10 Most Absurd Moments in Will Ferrell-Kristen Wiig Lifetime Movie
Diving away from trucks, tearing up magazines and dancing for a really, really long time.
If you saw Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig's Lifetime movie and are still trying to process what you just witnessed, you're not alone.
There were certainly a lot of life lessons to be learned in A Deadly Adoption, which aired Saturday on the cable channel. You may have learned to make sure the dock on your lake is not in disrepair, look carefully at a woman's stomach before assuming she's pregnant and always, always keep track of the groupies you sleep with on book tours.
The film centers on married couple Robert (Ferrell) and Sarah (Wiig) and their daughter Sully, who welcome into their home Bridget (Jessica Lowndes), the pregnant mother of the baby they plan to adopt. Bad things ensue.
Here are ten of the film's most head-scratching moments. (Spoilers ahead.)
Robert silently mouths Sarah's name as she fell into the water
Never trust a wooden dock. This was a lesson pregnant Sarah learned the hard way, falling into the water and losing their second baby. Also, Robert probably could have benefited from some CPR classes at some point in his life, since he seems to have no idea what he is doing.
Sarah was certain that Bridget is A-OK
"I think we're going to be really happy," Sarah tells Robert as they invited Bridget to move in, which was a surefire sign that they were going to be decidedly unhappy.
Bridget desecrated Robert's magazine cover, as if the publishing industry didn't have enough problems
Bridget didn't waste time to start destroying the family's property. She picked up a magazine with Robert and Sarah on the cover, and tears off Sarah's picture, as it slowly cascades to the ground.
The dangers of ... what was that again?
One of the most memorable lines is Robert dramatically telling Sarah about their daughter's health issues, "You know the dangers of diabetic ketoacidosis!" Uh, doesn't everyone?
Robert finally realizes Bridget looked familiar
Robert must have been on one hell of a bender, since he didn't remember having recently slept with Bridget, a.k.a Joni, on a book tour. Apparently, people are completely unrecognizable with pink hair and a fake pregnancy belly. (Where do people buy fake pregnancy bellies by the way?)
Sadly, a trophy was not enough to thwart Bridget
Even though Sarah throws the trophy at Bridget to stop her, Bridget still manages to knock Sarah out, leaving her to die of carbon monoxide poisoning before shooting Robert. "Mommy is already dead — I'm your new mommy now," Bridget kindly informed Sully.
Robert heroically carries Sarah from the garage
As if he was saving Charlie from the jungles of 'Nam, Robert slowly brings Sarah's still-breathing body into the home, full of its breathable air.
Robert dives to avoid getting hit by Bridget in the truck
It might have been preferable for Robert to get out of the way from the path of Bridget's truck sooner, as she and Sully come barreling toward him. Luckily, his leaping skills are par excellence.
Time for a dip
Just as Bridget is aiming to shoot Robert and Sully in their getaway boat, Sarah sneaks in to shoot her in the back, leading to a very comical scene in which Bridget goes flying over the edge of the bridge. Then, the camera lingers on Bridget for a remarkable amount of time as she floats lifelessly in the water. Evidently, Bridget is off to the Great Adoption Agency in the Sky.
When in doubt, dance
The film ends on an upbeat note, with Robert, Sarah and Sully all dancing their troubles away. Yes, more than one wooden spoon was used as to pantomime a microphone.