Amy Schumer's NSFW Glamour Speech: Women's Magazines Guilt You for "Being Born with a Pussy" (Video)

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"I'm probably, like, 160 pounds right now, and I can catch a dick whenever I want."

Amy Schumer accepted the Trailblazer award at the Glamour Awards in London on Tuesday, and her speech was chock-full of curses and jokes about women's magazines.

She started off the speech teasing Ellie Goulding, saying, "I love Ellie being like, 'Thank you for loving real people' and she's a f—ing supermodel." Then she added, "I'm probably, like, 160 pounds right now, and I can catch a dick whenever I want."

Schumer mocked women's magazines, saying they always provide her great fodder. She commended Glamour for just telling her to "Smile" during their photo shoot with her, saying female comics are often asked to act like a "cum dumpster" holding "plastic dicks" over their head.

"Some of them make you feel bad for just being born with a pussy," said Schumer. She said Glamour gave her a voice and let her tell a story about losing her self-esteem and finding it again. "I'm not going to apologize for who I am, and I'm going to actually love the skin that I'm in. And I'm not going to be striving for some other version of myself."

Schumer incorporated bits from her stand-up about losing her front teeth at the same time she started going through puberty, as well as jokes about pinecones and underwear.

"Some of the guys [in the audience] are not even remotely smiling, and you know what? I don't live here, I don't care," she said.

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