An Outraged Santa Joined Larry Wilmore to Dissect America's Gun Problem
"I don't want to get clipped, man. I've seen what you do to immigrants — it's not good."
An irate Santa made an appearance on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore last night to make a big announcement: He's not coming to the U.S. this year because he doesn't want to get shot.
"You maniacs scare the hell out of me! 185,000 guns sold on Black Friday?" Santa said, referencing an FBI report that gun sales hit an all time high on Black Friday, with more than 185,000 background checks having to be processed, 5 percent more than at the same time last year.
And with those numbers, Santa's understandably afraid of getting shot: "I don't want to get clipped, man. I've seen what you do to immigrants — it's not good. … I'm not popping my head out of a chimney in America!"
Wilmore tried a few different tactics to coax Santa back to the U.S. and even put in a request for his own gift in case he changed his mind.
But Santa told Wilmore he wasn't due for another gift until 2025 because he'd been so generous last year.
"You know what I gave you last year? A timeslot!" Santa exclaimed. "Getting a black man a late-night show? Peace on earth is easier!"
As for what we need to do to bring Santa back?
Santa was loud and clear: "How 'bout put down the f—ing guns."
Watch the full clip below.