Caitlyn Jenner Talks ESPY Fears, Feeling Insecure About Her Voice

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"I hope that people don't listen to the pitch of my voice, but listen to what I have to say."

Caitlyn Jenner's blog post this week focused on her preparations for her powerful ESPYs speech as she accepted her Arthur Ashe award amidst controversy.

Jenner reveals she was nervous about tripping on her dress and she was also worried she would get too emotional to speak and "lose it." The actual act of speaking so publicly, however, was made all the more challenging because of Caitlyn's childhood dyslexia .

"Reading my speech off of the teleprompter was a whole other story," said Jenner. "As I was a dyslexic kid, my biggest fear in life was to go in front of the class and read because I just wasn't very good at it — and that stays with you through your whole life."

Jenner explains that she usually speaks "off-the-cuff" at speaking engagements but that she really wanted her ESPYs speech to be perfect.

"I really had to stick to the prompter because I only had a certain number of minutes to make it right, to get my points across. I practiced and practiced and practiced and practiced to make sure I'd nail it," wrote Jenner.

While she liked her Versace gown, Jenner very much disliked her own voice, saying it was difficult for her to watch herself on television. "I still have a voice issue," says Jenner. " It's not quite right compared to my feminine appearance. That bothers me a little bit."

She added, "However, I hope that people don't listen to the pitch of my voice, but listen to what I have to say. That's important to me."

In the post, the former Olympian also thanked ESPY executive producer Maura Mandt for supporting her award despite "the little bit of the controversies." Jenner is referring to people who complained that she should not have won the courage award in the first place. "Thank all of you for your support," she said in the conclusion.

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