David Letterman on Retirement: Yes to Fishing, No to Cycling and Makeup

Jeffrey R. Staab/CBS

"It’s stunning what you find out about yourself when everything you’ve done for 33 years changes. It’s like ice melting out from under you," Letterman said in a postretirement interview.

David Letterman said goodbye to more than 33 years in late-night television on May 20, but the 68-year-old former Late Show With David Letterman host can already list what he does and doesn't want as part of his retired life.

Letterman admitted in an interview with Indianapolis Monthly that he can't make his own phone calls due to his reliance on an assistant for the past three decades. "As it turns out, after all these years of having someone make my calls for me, I can no longer operate a telephone," Letterman said.

He continued: "It’s stunning what you find out about yourself when everything you’ve done for 33 years changes. It’s like ice melting out from under you. I know that regular, responsible people probably hear me whining like this and think, Oh, brother. But I’m trying to rehabilitate myself, so keep me in your thoughts and prayers."

Though two of the women who previously worked with the former late-night host will continue supporting him for "awhile," he revealed that he doesn't know what to do with his hair without a grooming team. "I don’t know what to do with my hair, either. But I’ll never wear makeup again, so that’s no problem."

In his three weeks of retirement, which he said is treating him "very well," Letterman has filled his time with sports and staying up on local news.

"I love fishing with my son. Any kind of trout fishing where you can stand in the river is just delightful," Letterman said about the outdoor sport. "I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can stand in the river. I’m pretty good at that. And isn’t that 90 percent of it?"

One sport he's beginning to avoid in his later years and leave to younger generations of men? Cycling.

"I’m starting to realize that I don’t want to be found dead in a ditch somewhere," he said. "I’ll leave cycling to younger men."

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