Gold Medalist in Olympic Commentary
The Avengers star is Team USA's No. 1 fan, unleashing an amazing barrage of more than 200 tweets since the Games began
Opening Ceremony: "OK, there were some real fashion f--ups in that parade of nations! Some I understand, others........"
U.S. vs. China: "OK, shit that makes us feel good. That Chinese gymnast FACEPLANTED! Another reason it's not just good enuf to compete!"
More China: "Looking like the Chinese wz just laying' low till it counted! They goin' NINJA....if that's possible.....for a...u no what I mean!'
The judges: "Americans getting BONED on Sync Diving scores!"
China, South Korea and Indonesia women's badminton players are ejected for trying to lose matches to get better seeding: "Strategy My Ass! World Class WUSSES!!!"
U.S. swimmer Brendan Hansen outpaces rival Kosuke Kitajima of Japan for bronze in 100m breaststroke: "Hansen gets a lil' revenge, comeback was worth it. 'Shiniest bronze medal you'll ever see.' "
Women's discus: "These chicks slinging da shit outta that heavy frisbee! Givin' shout outs w/ every toss!"
Americans Kelci Bryant and Abigail Johnston come up a little short and take silver in women's synchronized diving: "SEVENTYFUKKINTWO??!!!!! Really??!! And the Candadian dive was ALL F--ed Up!"
NBC commentators: "Craig Sager is wearing NORMAL clothes!!! There has to be Olympic Pimp Gear available, I saw the opening ceremony!!!!"
Michael Phelps nabs his record 19th gold medal in the 4 x 100m medley relay: "PHELPS WALKS em' DOWN!!! Came & got that ASS! OLYMPIC RULER!! Last Race Maggie!! MOSTMUFFAQUATICPFUQAA of ALL TIME! GOLD!!! Go USA!"
U.K. victories in rowing, cycling and sailing: "Brit Cyclists keep Breaking WR's!! Dude had a pointearly this week, Brits EXCEL @ Sit Down Sports!"
His TV reception: "WTF my Fukken Satellite feed is EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTY & playing ELEVATOR ROCK!!!"