'Grown Ups 2': The Best Lines from the Worst Reviews
A large consensus of the nation's top film critics has decided that you should waste no time or money on the Adam Sandler comedy Grown Ups 2.
Although the Sony sequel, which also stars Kevin James, Chris Rock and Salma Hayek, debuted in theaters Thursday evening with impressive box office numbers -- grossing $2.3 million -- movie reviewers across American are collectively panning the film. Here are the best lines of the worst reviews:
John DeFore, The Hollywood Reporter: "Sandler, whose best work tends to be his least rewarded at the box office, has never before made a sequel. (One could argue, of course, that his early hits were the same movie in different clothes.) That he would make an exception for Grown Ups says nothing good about his trajectory as an artist -- at this point, even combining those five words may provoke snickers."
Andy Webster, The New York Times: "This is pap, plain and simple: scattered raunch-lite devoid of emotional resonance. At best, it sells itself on the spectacle of a TV show’s cast reunion -- and even then it disappoints. With the debacles of That’s My Boy and Jack and Jill, Mr. Sandler has increasingly squandered his comic capital. His onetime SNL brethren do themselves few favors -- beyond a paycheck -- by working in his orbit.
Mark Olsen, Los Angeles Times: "Judd Apatow's recent This Is 40 more fully explored a similar anxiety of middle-age and the comedic pathos of everyday life with messily vibrant results. With the slack, lackadaisical effort of Grown Ups 2, Sandler has perhaps revealed himself not as a confrere of Apatow, who directed him in Funny People to a performance both crude and soulful. Rather, he's the white Tyler Perry: smart enough to know better, savvy enough to do it anyway, lazy enough not to care."
Matt Patches, Time Out New York: "Reuniting Sandler and his high-school buddies, Grown Ups 2's suburban vignettes find room for every lowbrow gag: chocolate-as-poop jokes, Shaquille O'Neal's clown faces, digs at transgender bodybuilders and the "burp snart" -- a burp-sneeze-fart combo given more screen time than any of the female performers. Put it this way: In the first five minutes, a deer walks into the star's bedroom and urinates on his face. It's all downhill from there."
Claudia Puig, USA Today: "This eye-rolling excursion in toilet humor seems all the more tone-deaf given that Sandler is a few years shy of 50. His comic schtick has long been aimed at 13-year-old boys, but his latest efforts are an insult to adolescents of any age."
Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: "Indeed, if you scooped up someone from 500 years ago, some poor soul not inured to entertainment as a form of abuse, and made the unlucky victim sit through either The Lone Ranger or Pacific Rim, he'd probably go mad and never recover. Thus the bar gets lowered, and the temptation arises to say something nice about Grown Ups 2 just because it doesn't cause injury. But no, it's a bad movie, too, just old-school bad, the kind that's merely lousy and not an occasion for migraines or night sweats."
Connie Ogle, Miami Herald: "All you need to know about this new movie? Rob Schneider sat this one out. Yes. The guy who played Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo -- twice -- apparently said: No thanks, I'm busy."
Mark Jenkins, NPR: "It might be time for the actor to play a character who more honestly embodies the hostility his performances exude. But apparently Sandler's not grown up enough for that yet."