Independent Spirit Awards: Patton Oswalt's Best Jokes

1:52 PM PST 03/01/2014 by Aaron Couch
Associated Press
Patton Oswalt

No one was safe from the comedian and host, who joked Bruce Dern came to the ceremony "for one last look at the beach," and said Shia LaBeouf wore a plastic bag on his head because of the rain.

Patton Oswalt took aim at the film industry, Hollywood stars, and even his own anatomy as part of his hosting duties at Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards.

The comedian -- known for showing off his comedy chops on Twitter -- had plenty to say during his hosting gig. Below find some of his best jokes, with The Hollywood Reporter updating as the ceremony goes on.

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The rainy weather (and Shia LaBeouf's recent paper bag antics) inspired this one: "Shia LaBeouf wore a plastic bag over his head because of the rain."

Oswalt claimed, "I am such a huge film buff, I've nicknamed my genitals The Criterion Collection … commentary by Peter Bogdanovich."

He also tackled the headline-making events involving Woody Allen, Mia Farrow and allegations from Dylan Farrow that the director sexually assaulted her as a child: "The Someone to Watch Award will be presented by Mia Farrow."

Oswalt also joked about Bruce Dern's age, saying of the Nebraska star and 50-year Hollywood vet: "Dern came to the Spirit Awards … for one last look at the beach." Dern responded by pulling out his hearing aid and showing it to the crowd. Oswalt added: "I really want to buy you a drink after this and talk about how Nebraska came together … not the movie, the state."

The comedian joked that Robert Redford's sea-based drama All Is Lost was "Life of Pi without the tiger budget."

Later, Andy Samberg and Bill Hader sent an envelope by drone to present the best supporting actress honor to Lupita Nyong'o. Oswalt returned to the stage afterward in a torn shirt: "This is not from the drone -- Bruce Dern just kicked the shit out of me backstage. But don't touch the drone."

LIVE BLOG: Independent Spirit Awards

The ceremony will be broadcast on IFC at 10 p.m. PT/ET on Saturday night. Follow THR's live blog for updates from inside the ceremony, and see the list of winners here.

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