Joan Rivers' 10 Best Royal Wedding Jokes
The "Fashion Police" host lets loose on friends and family of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
The Royal Wedding provided plenty of fodder for Joan Rivers on Friday night's special one-hour edition of E's Fashion Police. The comedienne ripped into friends and family of Prince William and Kate Middleton for various fashion faux pas but she had some backhanded compliments for members of the wedding party as well.
Princess Beatrice, whose beige wedding hat inspired a popular Facebook page, made the top of Rivers' list with the comedienne comparing the pretzel-like topper to a birth control device. Elton John's portly frame also caught Rivers' eye as did the bride's mother Carole Middleton, whom Rivers compared to actress-director Penny Marshall.
Rivers had positive reviews for Kate Middleton, the new Duchess of Cambridge, and for Queen Elizabeth II, for whom she created a new term -- "QUILF."
1. Princess Beatrice
"She is so desperate to get married but she is wearing an I.U.D. on her head. The hat is like she's trying to make funnel cakes."
2. Pippa Middleton
"The dress is too sexy. You know Kate tried this on first and said 'Too sexy, too sexy! Take it back.' And Pippa said, 'Not so fast bitch, I'm single.'"
3. Carol Middleton
"Looks like penny marshall but younger and female."
4. Guy Ritchie
"People were asking why was he invited -- I found out because the Queen's favorite movie was Snatch."
5. Elton John
"Victoria (beckham) is pregnant but she isn't as far along as Elton John."
6. Kate Middleton
"I like that she did her own makeup, which kind of blows my mind 'cause I have a makeup girl come in when i just even go shopping online."
7. Prince Harry
"They were proud of William and they were going 'Thank god that Harry isn't doing one of his underarm fart sounds."
8. Princess Eugenie
"I was going to say something wrong and bad about that but poor Eugenia because she almost didn't go at all but the mice and birds in the palace got together and made that dress and look how pretty she looks."
9. Camilla Parker Bowles
"I think she looks terrific. And they're so happy. Look at their faces, they're smiling. You know they're just saying, "Thank god he is out of the castle. We can turn this bedroom now into a love dungeon."
10. Queen Elizabeth II
"She looked hot for a queen. Instead of a MILF she was a QUILF."