Keith Olbermann Uncensored: 'Sorry About Your Testicle,' Lance Armstrong

9:00 AM PST 08/14/2013 by Marisa Guthrie
Miller Mobley
Keith Olbermann

The provocative sportscaster-slash-pundit takes on five of the biggest controversies of the day, from Alex Rodriguez's PED scandal to Texas A&M star Johnny Manziel.

This story first appeared in the Aug. 23 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine.

Alex Rodriguez

The Yankees third baseman is appealing a suspension through 2014 for using human-growth hormone

It's like no, no, no, a guy winning a Double Crown and a few years later, maybe another Double Crown, there's no chance. It's not amnesia -- this is as if a memory had a shelf life for most sports fans and most sports broadcasters, too. Just be careful when you say things like, "Oh, thank God, Alex Rodriguez is clean, so when he erases Barry Bonds from the record books, we'll have a clean home run champion."

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Jason Collins

In April, Collins was the first active male professional athlete in a major American team sport to come out as gay

The whole thing was explained to me by an athlete, who said, "We're physical. To us, affection equals sex. When you hug your [teammate], and it's longer than a hug with your father, we go, 'Oh my God, I must want to have sex with this person.' We're not afraid of gay teammates, we're afraid that our compulsion to express affection sexually will lead to something we don't really want to do." I said, "You know this is crazy?" He said, "Yes."

Lance Armstrong

The cyclist confessed to using performance-enhancing drugs after a career of denial and after the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency banned him for life from the sport and stripped him of seven Tour de France wins

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What took the rest of you so long to figure this man out? In 2000, I went on the air at Fox and cut this guy to ribbons. I thought of him as a bully. Given how much doping there was in that sport, it was just too good to be true. Plus, other sources [said] PED users have sudden traumatic injuries or illnesses. Well, sorry about your testicle.

NFL concussion crisis

Upcoming book League of Denial by Mark Fainaru-Wada is bringing to the fore the disabling effects of head trauma on players

Today, injured players are tested on sidelines and then told, "Sorry, superstar, you can't go back in." I think that's positive. Baseball has the seven-day [disabled list]. You can go on the DL for seven days or seven years, but it should not be discouraged because you don't have huge symptoms. As a concussion survivor, I know how it affected my sight two years later. But the NFL should be applauded for what it has done so far.

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Johnny Manziel

The NCAA is investigating the Texas A&M quarterback for accepting money for autographs

The NCAA is the leading national distributor of crass hypocrisy. They have been wonderfully rapacious and yet managed to fly the flag of purity, goodness and upholding the standards of collegiate athletics and sportsmanship when they are in the money business. They are in the printing dollars business, and any other interpretation of what goes on between the NCAA and its athletes is incorrect.

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