Larry David Sarcastically Praises Tax Cuts for Rich in New York Times Editorial
Larry David, who is worth an estimated $500 million thanks to Seinfeld, sarcastically writes that his life is only getting better thanks to President Barack Obama's extension of George W. Bush's tax cuts to the rich.
"There is a God! It passed! The Bush tax cuts have been extended two years for the upper bracketeers, of which I am a proud member, thank you very much… a life changer!" writes David in a New York Times editorial called "Thanks for the Tax Cut!"
"To begin with, I was planning a trip to Cabo with my kids for Christmas vacation. We were going to fly coach, but now with the money I’m saving in taxes, I’m going to splurge and bump myself up to first class. First class! Somebody told me they serve warm nuts up there, and call you 'mister.' I might not get off the plane!" he quips.
David also gushes about finally buying "some fancy bottled water from the minibar" and then, when he gets home, throwing "out the 20-inch Zenith with the rabbit ears, the one I inherited from my parents when they died."
"Last month, the antenna broke and I tried to improvise one with a metal hanger and wound up cutting myself. Every time I see that scab, I say to myself, 'If, God willing, those Bush tax cuts are restored, I’m going to buy a new TV.' Well, guess what? They have been!" David enthuses.
David also says the tax cuts will be a "boon for [his] health" because he'll "finally be able to afford blueberries."
"Did you know they have a lot of antioxidants, which prevent cancer? Cancer!" he writes. "This tax cut just might save my life. Who said Republicans don’t support health care?"
If the tax cuts are repealed in 2012, "How will I ever go back to Special K and bananas?" he wonders "Of course, I suppose with the money I managed to save from the 'Seinfeld' syndication, I probably could continue to eat granola with blueberries, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that."
David ends: "Life was good, and now it’s even better. Thank you, Republicans. And a special thank you to President Obama and the Democrats. I didn’t know you cared."