Mariah Carey on Disastrous 'New Year's Rockin' Eve' Performance: "I Blame Everybody and I Blame Myself"

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Mariah Carey during her 'New Year's Rockin' Eve' performance

"This was out of my control, and had everything not been such a total chaotic mess, then I would have been able to make something happen,” Carey told Rolling Stone.

Mariah Carey took a media and social media hiatus after her disastrous New Year’s Eve performance until she appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last week to perform her new single “I Don’t” with rapper YG. Now, in one of her first interviews since the now-infamous incident, the singer spoke with Rolling Stone inside her sprawling home about the performance and what went wrong.

"This was out of my control, and had everything not been such a total chaotic mess, then I would have been able to make something happen,” Carey told Rolling Stone. “Even the dancers should have stopped dancing and helped me off the f—ing stage. I'm sorry. It was a mess, and I blame everybody, and I blame myself for not leaving after rehearsal."

Carey said she doesn’t expect everyone to understand what went on behind the scenes that night at Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve With Ryan Seacrest. "It's just something where if I can't explain it to the entire world, then they're not going to understand it, because it's not what they do,” Carey told Rolling Stone. "Just like I wouldn't understand somebody who had a desk job and how to do that. I couldn't. I literally am incapable of being in the real world and surviving."

Read the full interview here, including what Carey is doing differently in her new relationship with her backup dancer/choreographer Bryan Tanaka.

This story first appeared on billboard.com.

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