Michael Ovitz Threatens to Sue for Seat in Four Seasons' Grill Room
Nobody tells Michael Ovitz where to sit!
The agent and Four Seasons co-owner Julian Niccolini exchanged mock legal letters after Ovitz was seated in the restaurant's Pool Room instead of the power lunch Grill Room.
The co-founder of Creative Artists Agency (clients included, at one point, Tom Cruise, Dustin Hoffman and Michael Douglas), was seated in siberia last Thursday when the Grill Room was overbooked, the New York Post reports.
So Ovitz sent Niccolini a legal letter from fictitious lawyer I. Really Cheatham from the Three Stooges' fake firm Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, claiming he'd suffered "significant, physical, emotional, and financial injury."
"My client is a temperature-sensitive individual whose primary residence is in balmy California. Thus, for purely medical reasons, it is critical that he be able to bask in the warmth of your hospitality and charm," wrote the fake lawyer, Cheatham. The "glowing embers of celebrity and power with which you populate the Grill Room have the additional benefit of maintaining [Ovitz's] lobster miso soup at an agreeable temperature."
Niccolini's "laywer," Pinky Plushbottom, replied back that Ovitz's "open-toed shoes during a dignified business lunch" were causing "disruptive and inappropriate hysteria. When this riot-like stampede of panty-tossing 20-somethings appeared for the third time and confided in the doorman that they suffer a magnetic attraction to Mr. Ovitz's Prada shoes, my client had no choice but to ban him from the Grill Room," according to the Post.
Until Ovitz changes his shoes, Plushbottom added, "Mr. Niccolini will continue to seat Mr. Ovitz near the Pool, where he can reflect on the potential for catastrophic lawsuits that could result if and when one of these scantily clad damsels trips and injures herself while trying to get a tawdry peep show photo of Mr. Ovitz's fastidiously groomed feet . . . should this occur, Mr. Ovitz runs the risk of finding himself and his questionable footwear choices splashed across Page Six."