MTV Movie Awards 2015: Amy Schumer Pokes Fun at MTV, Hillary Clinton in Opening Monologue (Video)

"After months of speculation, Hillary Clinton finally announced she's taking Zayn's [Malik] spot in One Direction — the first woman in One Direction! I never thought I'd live to see the day!"

While hosting the 2015 MTV Movie Awards, Amy Schumer had words for the ceremony's network and the newest presidential candidate.

The opening sketch reel told how she came to host the awards show and hilariously put her in scenes from Boyhood, Pitch Perfect, The Hunger Games, The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent — "I lost my Diverginity when I was 17 — that's the butt one, right?" she said — as well as Whiplash, with J.K. Simmons verbally abusing her for telling some bad jokes.

Once she hit the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live stage, she shot a Katniss-esque arrow to signify the start of the show — only to have it land in the heart of a wounded Jimmy Kimmel in the audience.

"Half of you don't know who I am and half of you think I'm Meghan Trainor," she told the audience. "I got to make my first movie this past year, Trainwreck. … I thought, 'OMG, I'm starring in a movie — am I maybe, like, gorgeous?' And then my stunt double was a guy."

Schumer also poked fun at the network. She told all the winners to not worry about running long on their speeches because "MTV is the one network that refuses to play music," and that "the Movie Awards is the only show where the best movies are nominated and voted on by the same people who keep Catfish and Teen Mom on the air. Thank you for that. Keep it up. Really helpful."

She later joked to Kevin Hart, "How are you the same height as your kids?" and that he should win the "can't say no to a movie award" since he's had so many projects lately: "He's in movies you didn't even realize he's in. Did you see Boyhood? He's the boy age 8 to 9. Did you notice that? He's the fake baby in American Sniper. … If Kevin Hart sees his shadow, we get six more Kevin Hart movies."

Of other titles, Schumer said that Gone Girl is "a story of what one crazed white woman or all Latinas do when you cheat on them," the original title of Fault in Our Stars is actually Cancer, Schmancer, and Magic Mike "really is magic because every time I watch that, two of my fingers disappear — so weird!" Plus, Furious 7 is "what they're calling the people who saw Jupiter Ascending."

She closed her monologue by acknowledging the big news of the day: "After months of speculation, Hillary Clinton finally announced she's taking Zayn's [Malik] spot in One Direction — the first woman in One Direction! I never thought I'd live to see the day!"

 

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