Patton Oswalt Personifies Love in Devastating Personal Update Following His Wife's Death

Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic
Michelle McNamara and Patton Oswalt.

"OK, I'll start being funny again soon. What other choice do I have?"

Patton Oswalt cut to the core of many people when he penned a heartbreaking personal update Monday night, which marked 102 days since the death of his wife, Michelle McNamara.

In a lengthy Facebook post, the stand-up comic, film and TV star discussed his grieving process, explaining that he's been swallowed by sadness, but "I'll start being funny again soon." 

"If you spend 102 days completely focused on ONE thing you can achieve miracles. Make a film, write a novel, get MMA ripped, kick heroin, learn a language, travel around the world. Fall in love with someone. Get 'em to love you back. But 102 days at the mercy of grief and loss feels like 102 years and you have shit to show for it," Oswalt wrote. "You will not be physically healthier. You will not feel 'wiser.' You will not have 'closure.' You will not have 'perspective' or 'resilience' or 'a new sense of self.' You WILL have solid knowledge of fear, exhaustion and a new appreciation for the randomness and horror of the universe. And you'll also realize that 102 days is nothing but a warm-up for things to come."

McNamara died unexpectedly in her sleep April 21. The 46-year-old mother is said to have been free of known medical conditions, and there were no warning signs that her health might have been in danger. The Los Angeles County coroner previously told The Hollywood Reporter autopsy results would likely take months because the office is so backed up with cases.

McNamara was a noted true-crime author, who was in the middle of a project when she died. 

"She left behind an amazing unfinished book, about a horrific series of murders that everyone — including the retired homicide detectives she worked with — was sure she'd solve. The Golden State Killer. She gave him that name, in an article for Los Angeles Magazine. She was going to figure out the real name behind it," Oswalt wrote. 

The couple has one child, seven-year-old Alice. Oswalt wrote that McNamara put "the best parts of her into Alice, like beautiful music burned onto a CD and sent out into the void on a spaceship." 

In closing, Oswalt told fans — who he said have blown him away with kindness and support — that he would get back to his craft again someday soon, but not just yet. 

"OK, I'll start being funny again soon. What other choice do I have?" the actor wrote. "Reality is in a death spiral and we seem to be living in a cackling, looming nightmare-swamp. We're all being dragged into a shadow-realm of doom by hateful lunatics who are determined to send our planet careening into oblivion. Hey, there's that smile I was missing!"

Read Oswalt's full post below. 

comments powered by Disqus