Rob Lowe Roast: 25 of the Most Shocking Jokes (Not All Were Aimed at Ann Coulter)

Comedy Central
'Comedy Central Rob Lowe Roast'

A roundup of the most scathing digs from the Comedy Central special.

The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe aired Monday night, with many of the previously reported digs — at both roastee Rob Lowe and roaster Ann Coulter's expenses — making it to air.

The special, which was taped on Aug. 27 in Los Angeles, gathered a slew of celebrities to rip Lowe on subjects including his acting career, perfectly good looks, and infamous past liaisons and sex tape — while his family, wife Sheryl Berkoff and sons Matthew, 22, and John Owen, 20, sat in the audience.

It was Coulter, however, who found herself on the receiving end of the night's most scathing jabs. The conservative political commentator was frequently panned to throughout the roast, showing viewers just how unamused she was by her fellow roasters.

Roasters included Jimmy Carr, Coulter, Pete Davidson, Nikki Glaser, Jewel, Ralph Macchio, Peyton Manning, Rob Riggle and Jeff Ross, with David Spade serving as Roast Master.

Below, a roundup of some of the most shocking jokes of the night, in the order they were delivered.

25 Most Shocking Jokes:

"Some of you may know Rob from the West Wing. Rob, I assume your pal Charlie Sheen helped you out with that. He’s used to working with aids." — David Spade

"Rob was in Austin Powers 16 years ago. Can you believe it’s 16? Or as he calls it, 18." — Spade

"He was excited to meet the cat Mr. Bigglesworth since it had been a while since he had made a movie with a hairless pussy." — Spade on Lowe in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

"Rob has been called the comeback kid. No I read that wrong. Rob has come on a kid. Glad we got that out of the way." — Spade

"Ann Coulter, if you’re here who’s scaring the crows away from our crops?" — Pete Davidson

"Last year we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets, and now we have Ann Coulter who cuts eye holes in them." — Davidson

"Fun fact: Ann Coulter has a big angry bush. No joke, that’s just a fun fact." — Rob Riggle

"As a feminist, I can’t support everything that’s being said up here tonight. But as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I'm delighted." — Jewel 

"You look like every dad who can’t handle having a gay son." — Jewel on Riggle

"Gay men love Ann Coutler. It’s because two minutes into hearing her speak, they remember why they hate pussy." — Jewel

"One of the most repugnant, hateful hatchet bitches alive, but it’s not too late to change, Ann — you could kill yourself." — Jimmy Carr

"Ann Coulter’s pussy — seriously this gets classy — Ann Coulter's pussy is now so old and dry that it just got a job drawing cartoons for The New Yorker." — Carr

"I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. Congrats on that, Ann. Great job." — Peyton Manning

"You tried to take the air out of my retirement so fast, you can probably get a job as Tom Brady’s ball boy." — Manning on Lowe

"Jewel is here. Or as I call her: Trailer Swift." — Nikki Glaser 

"Ann Coulter has written 11 books. Twelve if you count Mein Kampf." — Glaser

"The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave." — Glaser on Coulter

"Don’t be mad. At least I acknowledge the Holocaust, Ann doesn’t even think it happened." — Glaser

"I haven’t seen you laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot." — Spade on Coulter

"Black Lives Matter. Not enough to have a black person on the dais, but trust me. They matter." — Rob Lowe

"Peyton's here tonight to show Zika babies it could really be much worse." — Lowe

"Your performance tonight was a fitting tribute to your dad, because it was like watching the third plane hitting the World Trade Center." — Lowe on Davidson

"A lot of people have asked why Ann Coulter is here. Because the right-to-lifers wanted everyone to see what an abortion looks like up close." — Lowe

"Ann, after your set tonight. We've all witnessed the first bombing that you can't blame on a Muslim." — Lowe

"Jeff Ross is a five-time honoree in Leukemia Face magazine." — Lowe

Watch clips and the full episode of the Roast of Rob Lowe at Comedy Central.

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