Samantha Bee Slams Ohio Heartbeat Bill

"Pro-lifers are geniuses at making a lentil-sized cluster of developing cells sound like a fully baked pageant baby."

Samantha Bee's morning routine is waking up, taking a breath and turning to face the "nonstop shit-geyser of presidential news."

The Full Frontal host rattled off a list of Trump-related news Monday, before wondering what the states were up to while "our eyes are full of feces."

She brought up Ohio's new "heartbeat bill," which would ban abortions as soon as a heartbeat is detected or roughly six weeks into a pregnancy. "At six weeks most women won't even know they are pregnant, especially now since every time we wake up and realize Trump is president we all have morning sickness," proclaimed Bee.

The host said that women can easily miss their periods and not realize they're pregnant and talked about how Ohio Gov. John Kasich, who usually signs abortion bills, is wondering whether or not it's constitutional. 

Going into the details of the bill, Bee mentioned the woman pushing it and the 19 Kids and Counting Duggar family who have supported it.

"Pro-lifers are geniuses at making a lentil-sized cluster of developing cells sound like a fully baked pageant baby," said Bee. "I'm surprised they haven't passed a law forcing women to put their sonogram through the puppy Snapchat filter before they decide whether to keep it.

Bee highlighted that pro-life legislators are energized following Trump's win in the election and illustrated their excitement with a string of sperm jokes. She also discussed Mitch McConnell's refusal to let Obama pick a SCOTUS judge and Trump's recent Man of the Year comments.

comments powered by Disqus