'South Park': Donald Trump Character Tries to Throw Presidential Debate
"I am a sick, angry little man."
South Park took a crack at the first presidential debate, and neither candidate came out looking great.
Able to be one of the most topical shows on TV thanks to its quick turnaround, the Comedy Central cartoon had time to skewer both Hillary Clinton (referred to as "Turd Sandwich") and the show's Donald Trump character represented by Mr. Garrison (referred to as "Giant Douche"), in the first debate in this week's episode, "The Damned."
Garrison's outlandish Trump — whose answer to illegal immigration is to "f— them all to death" — has finally realized he has no business being president but can't seem to convince voters no mater how self-deprecating he is because they have bought into his whimsical campaign promises. So the orange-faced character uses the debate stage, which took place on Monday in the real world, to throw the election.
"I don't know what the f— I'm doing," Garrison's Trump says in earnest. "I had no idea I would get this far, but the fact of the matter is, I should not be president, OK? I will f— this country up beyond repair. I am a sick, angry little man. Please, if you care at all about the future of our country, vote for her. She's the one who at least has some experience. She's not as bad as you think, I promise. And unlike me, she's actually capable of running this country."
The Clinton character spoils the silver-platter gift by repeating what her aides told her to say; they believed Garrison's Trump would just attack her personally.
"My opponent is a liar, and he cannot be trusted," she says to every statement made by Garrison. "What he is saying is simply not true. Do not believe it."
An exasperated Garrison says, "I am giving you this, lady. What the f— are you doing! Get out of your own way!"
Later in the episode, at a giant rally, Garrison again tells his supporters he doesn't know what he is doing and to not vote from him, but every statement gets huge applause.
"I am not a good person for the White House. I am not a good person, period," Garrison, filled with contempt, tells the crowd. "If you vote me in as president, I'll seriously throw up and have lost all faith in humanity."
Meanwhile, in town, characters flip back and forth over which candidate they support.