Stephen Colbert Brings Back Tuck Buckford Character to Parody Alex Jones
"My children flew out my penis like a flame of love and they were made, and now I love them like they were a fire of my own mind."
Stephen Colbert continues to be interested in Alex Jones' custody battle, and on Wednesday night's Late Show, he brought up the details of the legal fight the InfoWars host is having with his wife.
Jones reportedly defended himself when he couldn't remember basic facts about his children by saying it was because he had recently eaten chili.
"What did he sprinkle on top of the chili? Cheddar cheese and roofies?" asked Colbert, laughing. He also teased Jones for being accused of stripping off his clothes in family counseling sessions. Then it came time for Colbert to return to his Tuck Buckford parody character of Jones.
"I'm fighting back with my brain-fist, OK, because my mind is a weapon and my skull is a cage for your protection, all right, for everyone's protection because I've got power, OK?" shouted Colbert as Buckford. "I'm a father. I have male vitality."
"My children flew out my penis like a flame of love and they were made, and now I love them like they were a fire of my own mind," continued Colbert. "Now they want to take 'em away just 'cause I can't remember a few minor details, like how many of the children are there or what their names are and if all of those children are my children."
Colbert as Buckford said his brain is getting all "scrambled up" by the chili, which he brought out and set the bowl on the table. He yelled, "I don't need pants to parent" and jumps up to slap himself and rub chili on his legs.
"That's a moisturizer as God intended," shouted Colbert.