Stephen Colbert Calls Butterball Turkey Talk-Line: "Can You Connect Me With the Fire Department?"

"I'm trying to do a turducken this year, but the turkey's having none of it — it keeps running away."

Stephen Colbert is taking some common (and not so common) Thanksgiving questions to the patient operators at the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, who've been offering help with Thanksgiving cooking issues since 1981.

The host of The Late Show has been calling the line since Friday, seeking answers to questions ranging from the most-asked, "What's the best way to thaw a turkey?" (hint: not antifreeze) to best practices for banning vegan relatives from the table to whether one should serve two kinds of cranberries or just forget about Thanksgiving and "move to Barcelona and pursue my dream of becoming a dancer."

"How do I deep fry my turkey without catching my house on fire, and — as a quick follow-up — can you connect me with the fire department?" Colbert asks one of the hotline operators.

"I'm trying to do a turducken this year, but the turkey's having none of it — it keeps running away," Colbert complains to one sincere operator. "Gotta say, the duck doesn't seem happy about it either."

"Well, I don't know if I can help you there," she tells him. "I can help you with your stuffing questions though."

Watch the full clips below.

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