Late-Night Hosts Respond to Immigration Ban: "Welcome to Trump's America"
"You've got to give the guy credit. He can really get a lot of stuff undone," said Colbert on 'The Late Show.'
President Trump signed a controversial executive order on Friday that put a stop to the U.S. refugee program and effectively bans entries for immigrants from seven Muslim-majority countries for 90 days.
But it wasn't until Monday night that most late-night hosts could address the issue, and many of them had harsh words for the newly sworn-in president.
The Late Show's Stephen Colbert had just come back from a week's hiatus. "This is our first show of the Trump administration," he said. "You ever regret going on vacation? 'Take the week off,' they said. 'America will still be here when you get back,' they said.'"
Colbert joked that after the inauguration, people said of Trump, "Let's not worry too much. Let's wait and see."
"Well, we didn't have to wait too long," he said. "The line moves really fast on this ride. Every day, you just get back on the roller coaster and start throwing up."
"You've got to give the guy credit. He can really get a lot of stuff undone," Colbert continued. "From Obamacare to climate change to torture, he's already moved the country back to 2004. If this keeps up, pretty soon I'm going to launch the Colbert Report."
Colbert talked about some of the immigrants who have been detained or deported. "At Dulles airport a five-year-old Iranian boy was detained from his mother and kept for hours, or as Kellyanne Conway calls it, alternative daycare," he said. Toward the end of his monologue he fired back at Steve Bannon's recent "hobbit" comment with Tolkien knowledge.
The Daily Show's Trevor Noah discussed the travel ban with Hasan Minhaj, a practicing Muslim.
"In the past, America has had lots of issues with Muslims and immigration," Minhaj told the host, "but Trump is taking this thing to a whole new level. Other presidents were just dipping their toes in the pool, but Trump straight-up did a cannonball and then felt up the lifeguard."
"Technically, you're a citizen, so this ban doesn't affect you," Noah assured him, but Minhaj wasn't so sure.
"We're on day 11, man! That's it, where do you think this is going to go? It's like watching the first episode of Breaking Bad thinking, 'Oh, it's just a science teacher cooking meth. It can't get any crazier.' But it does!"
Earlier, Noah spoke about the protests at airports across the country. "People in the airport were pissed, and it's not because they're at the airport. Welcome to Trump's America. That's how bad the Donald is. No matter how bad the situation you're in, Donald Trump can always make it worse."
Late Night's Seth Meyers addressed Trump's statement that the ban is not about religion, but "about keeping our country safe."
"Though if you really want to keep Americans safe, quit making them walk in the street," Meyers joked about the many protests and demonstrations that have taken place since the executive order was signed. "Everything you do, people end up walking in the street. It's a health hazard!"
The implementation of Trump's ban was "so sloppy and confusing," according to Meyers, that officials were "caught off guard" and a judge ordered a stop to all deportations, "saying in a statement we're likely to hear a lot of for the next for years: 'I think the government hasn't had a full chance to think about this.' "
"Trump should be the first president that legally has to count to 100 before taking action," said Meyers.
TBS' Conan O'Brien spoke about the issue during his monologue, specifically that Trump spent the weekend watching Finding Dory at the White House.
"Apparently in this version, Dory couldn't be found because she was being detained at the airport," O'Brien joked.
Jimmy Kimmel took time to address the recent airport protests, specifically the story of a the five-year-old boy who was detained. "The White House press secretary had the unenviable job today of trying to explain how detaining a five-year-old helps to keep the country safe," Kimmel said, showing a clip of Sean Spicer, who stated that to assume someone isn't a threat just because of someone's age "would be misguided."
"Yeah -- unless he's five years old! What's he gonna do?"
The Late Late Show host showed video of himself, entitled "James Corden's Post-Ban Trip Through LAX," heading to LAX to travel.
After a quick walk-through of the airport, a message pops up to read: "Today, James flew out of Los Angeles. So all of our shows this week have been pre-taped. Freedom of movement should be this easy for all legal immigrants. Not just the white and Christian ones."
Jimmy Fallon dressed up as Trump and said he wanted to address the complaints that "two or three dozen people" had over the weekend about the immigration ban. "When it comes to immigrants you have two choices -- either get out of here or marry me," joked Fallon as Trump.
He also unveiled Trump's "golden nomination cage," which he spins three times before selecting a ball. If it's white he nominates a Wall Street insider; if it's black he nominates Ben Carson. When he wants to make an executive decision, he spins his "Huge Wheel of Decisions" to dictate policy.