So You're a Celebrity Who Wants to Move to Canada ...
The Hollywood Reporter suggests 10 Canadian destinations to 10 famous people who have pledged to move north should Donald Trump win the election.
Colorful plastic money, maple syrup, beavers, a hunky prime minister — who wouldn't want to move to Canada should the Republicans win the Nov. 8 election?
Certainly not these 10 celebrities, who have all gone on the record to announce they'll be heading to the land of Drake and Celine Dion if Donald Trump wins the presidency.
But Canada is a pretty huge place. So The Hollywood Reporter has analyzed each individual case and produced this handy Post-Election Canadian Relocation Guide for Celebrities.
1. Bryan Cranston
Hometown: Hollywood, California
Occupation: Actor (Breaking Bad, Kung Fu Panda 3)
Au Revoir, America!: "Absolutely. I would definitely move. It’s not real to me that that would happen. I hope to God it won’t. It wouldn’t be a vacation. I’d be an expatriate.”
Suggested Canadian Destination: SASKATOON, SASKATCHEWAN
The largest city in Saskatchewan (pop. 305,000) is exactly 1,400 miles directly north of Albuquerque, New Mexico — nose-bleed-friendly terrain Cranston is all but certainly familiar with. Added Breaking Bad irony: It was founded in the late 1800s as a colony for the Temperance Movement!
2. Barbra Streisand
Hometown: Brooklyn, New York
Occupation: Singer, actress, director (The Way We Were, The Guilt Trip)
Au Revoir, America!: “He has no facts. I don't know, I can't believe it. I'm either coming to your country [Australia], if you'll let me in, or Canada.”
Suggested Canadian Destination: MONTREAL, QUEBEC
Just an hour flight from the Great White Way, Montreal is famed for its sophisticated dining and fashion, as well as its underground shopping malls — just like the subterranean shopping center Streisand had installed in her Malibu home. (Lady Gaga and Ryan Murphy once stopped by for a treat at Streisand's personal frozen yogurt shop.)
3. Neve Campbell
Hometown: Guelph, Ontario, Canada
Occupation: Actress (Party of Five, Wild Things)
Au Revoir, America!: The House of Cards star said she will “move back to Canada. … His honesty is terrifying.”
Suggested Canadian Destination: GUELPH, ONTARIO
The expression "there's no place like home" is not one typically associated with a place like Guelph. But Guelph is OK! A Toronto suburb of about 150,000 residents, it has low unemployment and crime, and boasts local events and attractions like Guelph Lake, Downtown Guelph and the annual Guelph Pride Week. And it produced one big star in the form of Neve Campbell; perhaps it's time for Guelph's prodigal daughter to return and Make Guelph Great Again!
4. Keegan-Michael Key
Hometown: Detroit, Michigan.
Occupation: Actor, comedian (Key and Peele, The Angry Birds Movie)
Au Revoir, America!: "[Moving to Canada is] easy. It's like 10 minutes from Detroit and that's where I'm from.”
Suggested Canadian Destination: WINDSOR, ONTARIO
He is absolutely correct: Like Tijuana to San Diego, Windsor is just one mile from Motor City, right across the Detroit River and accessible by tunnel. Which is why it has long been a beacon for thirsty American youths looking to take advantage of Canada's 19-and-over drinking laws, casinos, lap-dance parlors and, uh, hospitable Canadian culture. It's also the southernmost city in Canada, making it slightly less like Ice Planet Hoth than some of its counterparts!
5. Chloe Sevigny
Hometown: Springfield, Massachusetts.
Occupation: Actress (American Horror Story: Hotel, Bloodline), fashion designer, style inspiration
Au Revoir, America!: Answered “Nova Scotia" to a question of where she would move if Trump were elected.
Suggested Canadian Destination: QUEBEC CITY, QUEBEC
We know she asked for Nova Scotia, but we think Sevigny will be more comfortable nesting in a spot where French is spoken exclusively. And where better than the oldest European settlement in North America? Just pack your furs, Chloe — we know you love them. (Failing that, she could always move to Medicine Hat, Alberta, since she probably has several medicine hats sitting in her closet dating back to John Galliano's Fall-Winter 2004 collection.)
Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia
Occupation: Actress, comedian, model, singer, songwriter, dancer, television producer and talk show host (That's So Raven, The View).
Au Revoir, America!: "My confession for this election is if any Republican gets nominated, I'm going to move to Canada with my entire family. I already have my ticket.”
Suggested Canadian Destination: HAMILTON, ONTARIO
Before the hit Broadway musical, there was the sleepy steel town just waiting to get gentrified with some show-business sizzle. And you can order your breakfast there by saying, "That's so Canadian bacon!"
7. Lena Dunham
Hometown: New York, New York
Occupation: Actress, writer, producer and director (Girls).
Au Revoir, America!: “I know a lovely place in Vancouver, and I can get my work done from there."
Suggested Canadian Destination: NELSON, B.C.
This charming town nestled on Kootenay Lake in the province's southern interior was a popular settling spot for draft dodgers during the Vietnam War — college-educated, pacifist ex-hippies who made a lasting impact on the area. Lena will feel right at home!
8. Stephen King
Hometown: Portland, Maine
Occupation: Author (Carrie, Christine, The Shining, It)
Au Revoir, America!: Said he'd move to Canada from his home state of Maine because "a Trump presidency scares [him] more than anything else."
Suggested Canadian Destination: ANTIGONISH, NOVA SCOTIA
A coastal community that should effectively provide the fog-enshrouded mornings to which King is accustomed, it has the added feature of a haunted university: Students have claimed to see The Blue Nun wandering their halls — the ghost of a woman who jumped off a balcony because of an affair with a priest.
Hometown: Camden, Arkansas
Occupation: Singer-songwriter, record producer, dancer and actor ("Miss Independent," Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!)
Au Revoir, America!: Told TMZ he'll "move to Canada straight away" if Trump wins. "Me and Drake gonna be neighbors if Donald Trump becomes president.”
Suggested Canadian Destination: DEGRASSI STREET, TORONTO, ONTARIO
So maybe Degrassi Street doesn't actually exist. (A De Grassi Street does, but that's neither here nor there.) Anyway, who cares? Degrassi is a state of mind. The street that houses the fictional high school that Drake attended for five memorable seasons, playing basketball star-turned-paraplegic Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation, is a symbol for all that is diverse and welcoming about Canada (notwithstanding the episodes dedicated to date rape, school shootings, drug abuse, suicide, abortion, domestic violence and racism).
10. Larry Flynt
Hometown: Lakeville, Kentucky
Occupation: Publisher (Hustler) and free-speech advocate.
Au Revoir, America!: “I don’t know, maybe move to Canada. The thought of Donald Trump becoming president nauseates me in a big way.”
Suggested Canadian Destination: REGINA, SASKATCHEWAN