'Eternity: The Movie': Film Review
The rise and fall of an '80s-era pop duo bearing no small resemblance to Hall & Oates
If a satire's success is judged by how well it gets its period details right, then Eternity: The Movie would be a comic masterpiece. Depicting the rise and fall of an '80s-era pop duo bearing no coincidental resemblance to Hall & Oates, the film captures the tacky fashion, hairstyles and music of the period with such pinpoint accuracy that it practically seems to hail from that decade. Unfortunately, this comedy, directed by Ian Thorpe and scripted by Joey Abi-Loutfi, falls flat in nearly every other respect and will appeal only to those whose tolerance for nostalgia knows no bounds.
The central characters are the lavishly blonde-maned Todd (Barrett Crake), who moves from the Midwest to Reseda, Calif., in pursuit of a music career, and the shorter, hirsute B.J. (Myko Olivier), a singer-saxophonist Todd meets while working at the discount clothier BJ Maxx — cue the endless parade of BJ jokes. The unlikely duo quickly hit off, forming the pop-soul group Eternity, who quickly reach the top of the charts thanks to such synthesizer-laden singles as "Make Love, Not Just Sex."
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But the pair, whose uncommon closeness (similar to that of Saturday Night Live's animated sketch The Ambiguously Gay Duo) constitutes one of the film's limping if not exactly running jokes, quickly finds that stardom comes with its inevitable pitfalls. Complicating things further is the romantic triangle that develops between them and their aspiring songwriter-friend Gina Marie (Nikki Leonti), with whom they participate in an ill-advised ménage a trois.
The endless parade of parodistic gags displays no semblance of wit, with the filmmakers content to perfectly ape the silliness of the era's music videos and such fashion statements as wearing a single cross earring. Further fueling the '80s vibe are the inconsequential cameo appearances by such minor cult favorites as Eric Roberts, Jon Gries (Napoleon Dynamite) and Martin Kove (The Karate Kid), clearly taking time off from appearing at autograph conventions.
The lead performers certainly deliver committedly silly performances, and the songs performed by the fictional duo are accurately bad enough to compete with the worst of the period's music. And in case you're wondering, the soundtrack is available for purchase on iTunes.
Production: Sidecar Productions
Cast: Barrett Crake, Myko Olivier, Eric Roberts, Martin Kove, Jon Gries, Nikki Leonti
Director: Ian Thorpe
Screenwriter: Joey Abi-Loutfi
Producers: Eric Staley, Joey Abi-Loutfi, Kevin Tostado
Executive producers: Mark Eidson, Sarah Eidson, Carolyn Rozwat, Chuck Rozwat
Director of photography: Chris Ernst
Editors: Eric Staley, Ian Thorpe
Production designer: Chris Ernst
Composer: Kevin Brough
No rating, 91 minutes