• The Hollywood Reporter on LinkedIn
  • Follow THR on Pinterest

Loosies: Film Review

Loosies Peter Facinelli Running - H 2012
IFC Films

The Bottom Line

Appealingly seedy genre elements drown beneath bland and unconvincing romance.


Peter Facinelli, Jaimie Alexander, Vincent Gallo, Michael Madsen, Joe Pantoliano, William Forsythe


Michael Corrente

Peter Facinelli's pickpocket reconciles a life of crime with impending fatherhood.

Playing like a Knocked Up for the penny-ante underworld (minus the jokes), Michael Corrente's Loosies is a vanity project that might have stayed afloat had star/writer Peter Facinelli only tried to sell himself as a none-too-bright crook on the run from bad luck. Making romance a big part of the mix dooms a movie already saddled with one of the worst titles in recent memory.

A "loosie" is a cigarette sold individually instead of by-the-pack; it's also a homophone for Lucy (Jaimie Alexander), a bartender whose one-night-stand with Bobby (Facinelli) resulted in an unwanted pregnancy. Bobby, a pickpocket who told Lucy he was a stockbroker, would know about the pregnancy if the cad hadn't given her a fake phone number the next morning; he doesn't find out until the two accidentally meet three months later.

By that point, Bobby has other problems: He lifted a cop's badge a while back and dumbly used it to get a free cab ride, igniting a scandal that has the cop (Michael Madsen) on the warpath; he's trying to pay off his dead dad's $500 thousand gambling debt with the watches and cell phones he steals for an edgy, karate-obsessed fence (Vincent Gallo); and his mom is sleeping with Joe Pantoliano.

Corrente is at a disadvantage here, with every interesting face in the cast stuck in a supporting role. Scenes between Facinelli and Alexander go nowhere, and are rarely more believable than the forced coincidence of their three-months-later reunion.

The movie's crime-flick elements are hardly more credible than the pregnancy plot (we're meant to believe, for instance, that Madsen's couldn't-care-less flatfoot was on track to become Chief of Police), but they have a grindhouse quality that makes Loosies almost fun in flashes. But flashes are all they are -- pleasures even more fleeting than an off-brand smoke bummed from strangers in an alley.

Opened January 11, 2011 (IFC)
Production Company: Verdi Productions
Cast: Peter Facinelli, Jaimie Alexander, Vincent Gallo, Michael Madsen, Joe Pantoliano, William Forsythe
Director: Michael Corrente
Screenwriter: Peter Facinelli
Producers: Glenn Ciano, Peter Facinelli, Noah Kraft, Chad A. Verdi
Executive producers: Michael Corso, Robert DeFranco, Anthony Gudas, Gino Pereira, John Santilli, Robert Tarini, Michelle Verdi
Director of photography: Sam Fleischner
Production designer: Robert Rotondo Jr.
Music: Chad Fischer
Costume designer: Caroline Errington
Editor: Daniel Boneville
PG-13, 89 minutes