TV Review: Gimme My Reality Show!

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Hmmm ... let's see. A new TV series premiering at midnight on a Saturday, which is kind of like getting married at 4 a.m. on a Tuesday. You're not expecting a whole lot of people to be in attendance.

In the case of the new Fox Reality abomination "Gimme My Reality Show!" this is more than understandable; the pre-burial is more or less mandated. If this isn't the biggest waste of human DNA in television history, it must be awfully close. Less an original series than a cable preview of what Armageddon might look like, it joins seven truly frightening G-listers whose flirtation with fame long ago passed through the hourglass (if there ever was any sand in there to begin with). The gambit: gather grating gossip columnist AJ Benza, cosmetic enhancement nightmare Traci Bingham, bland opportunist Gretchen Bonaduce, "Brady Bunch" alum Susan Olsen, "American Idol" washout Ryan Starr, "Anna Nicole Show" queen Bobby Trendy and (God save us all) O.J. Simpson trial airhead Kato Kaelin in a competition to -- I'm not kidding -- land their own reality show.

Running four interminable weeks, the disaster, hosted by an alternately earnest and snarky George Gray, manages to achieve the impossible; that is, it stands as a poor man's "The Simple Life," which is a bit like being the dude who is resigned to write the "Will Work For Food" sign for the panhandler. The folks who compete with crass cluelessness on "Gimme My Reality Show!" would need to travel far up the food chain simply to be classified as run-of-the-mill pathetic. Moreover, the judges include one of journalism's own, Variety TV reporter Michael Schneider. If a show needs to delve into the ranks of we ink-stained hacks, you know it must be driven by a concept that's seriously flawed. In this case, it isn't really a concept at all but something you might concoct while enduring a weekend-long bender of weed and tequila.

The gimmick here is apparently meant to tie vaguely in with the general election. This may be the only thing surrounding the show that makes sense. In a campaign that features a running mate who views frequent winking and eliminating the "g" from the end of her words as an effective strategy, "Gimme My Reality Show!" stands as perhaps the perfect surrealistic accompaniment.

Production: Natural 9 Entertainment and Fox Reality.
Executive producers: Carol Sherman, Jeff Androsky.
Producer: Christine Blake.
Story producers: Mikel Androsky, Josh Androsky, Jason Fischer.
Director of photography: Kort Waddell.
Lead Editor: Craig Ordelheide.
Announcer: Bill Lloyd.
Judges: Adrianne Curry, Scott Sternberg, Michael Schneider.
Host: George Gray.
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