Saturday Night Live alums Tina Fey, Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon all made a return to the news desk on the second episode of the show's "Summer Edition" of Weekend Update on Thursday.
Fey, who is a University of Virginia grad, showed up to speak out against the deadly white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Va. over the weekend. Clad in a UVA sweatshirt, Fey told hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che, “It broke my heart to see these evil forces descend upon Charlottesville.”
She then bashed President Trump — or Donny John, as she refers to him — for saying that "he condemns violence on many sides."
"I’m feeling sick because I’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and I wasn’t confused by it. Nazis are always bad. I don’t care what you say," she said.
“There’s nine more alt-right rallies planned around the country this Saturday, including one in New York City in Washington Square Park,” Fey continued. “Part of me hopes these neo-Nazis do try it and get the ham salad kicked out of them by a bunch of drag queens, because you know what a drag queen still is? A six-foot-four black man.”
Adding that she doesn't want "any more good people to get hurt," she urged those frustrated by the events to find a local business — "maybe a Jewish-run bakery or an African-American-run bakery" — order a cake decorated with the American flag, and eat it, which is exactly what Fey proceeds to do with the sheet cake, pausing mid-bite to point out that Native Americans protesting at Standing Rock were shot by the police with rubber bullets, but "chinless turds" were allowed to "march through the streets with semi-automatic weapons” in Charlottesville.
She then proceeds to offer a biting commentary on Charlottesville and "Donny" Trump ("Who drove the car into the crowd, Hillary’s emails?”) while devouring the cake, and attempting to make "sheet-caking” and screaming your frustrations into a cake a “grassroots movement.”
Earlier in the show, Fallon and Meyers returned to the news desk, but this time as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, respectively.
Fallon, as Washington, wanted to talk about the "Robert E. Lee thing" — referring to the statue of Lee that the Charlottesville city council voted to take down, which is what spurred the rally. "I’m nothing like that guy,” he claimed. “I rebelled against England, he rebelled against America. Him, bad; me, the founding father, the original dad. Who's your daddy? Me!” he yelled.
Che then pressed him on owning slaves, at which point Fallon points the finger at Thomas Jefferson, prompting Meyers to appear dressed as the former president. "Woah, woah, woah, you're just going to throw me under the carriage like that?" Meyers asks.
But he ultimately confessed that he did own slaves: "It’s true, Che, it’s true. You've got to remember, it was a different time, man. It was the ’70s man. It was the 1770s, crazy times. Everyone in capri pants, smoking hemp."
The two closed the segment with a joint statement: "In the end, we don't need statues to commemorate us. Our legacy is the country that we risked our lives to create, and that is why this great nation has given us an honor greater than any statue: a three-day weekend in February during which all Americans get 50 percent off on mattresses. And I think there's a Toyota-thon that weekend, too."
The primetime specials of Weekend Update began airing Aug. 10 and run for four weeks on NBC.