Singer-songwriter Ryan Adams is breaking his silence and speaking out more than a year after facing allegations of sexual misconduct.
Adams was accused last year of demanding sex from female musicians he mentored and, when rejected, retaliating with verbal and emotional abuse and harassment. In a story published by the New York Times, allegations of emotional and verbal abuse were detailed by seven women, including ex-wife Mandy Moore and ex-fiancee Megan Butterworth, as well as accusations of sexual manipulation from five more (two off the record), and corroborations from family members, friends and correspondences with Adams.
Moore, who was married to Adams from 2009 to 2016, said that during her relationship with Adams, he offered help with professional advancement but ended up ruining her confidence in her music with verbal harassment. "His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time — my entire mid-to-late 20s," the singer and This is Us star told the Times. Adams had disputed Moore's account via his lawyer at the time and said he was supportive of her "well-deserved professional success."
Now, a year later, Adams is issuing an apology in a letter published by The Daily Mail.
"There are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I've mistreated people throughout my life and career. All I can say is that I'm sorry. It's that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life," the 45-year-old musician said.
"I've gotten past the point where I would be apologizing just for the sake of being let off the hook and I know full well that any apology from me probably won't be accepted by those I've hurt. I get that and I also understand that there's no going back.To a lot of people this will just seem like the same empty bull***t apology that I've always used when I was called out, and all I can say is, this time it is different."
He went on to explain that after realizing the harm he's caused, it "wrecked" him. "I'm still reeling from the ripples of devastating effects that my actions triggered," he said. Though aware that he cannot convince anyone that "this time is truly different," Adams said it's the "albatross that I deserve to carry with me as a result of my actions." Adams said that during his time away from the spotlight he has taken a "hard look inwards and sought to find the truth behind them" including deciphering what pain he was carrying "that was so poorly and wrongly being projected onto others."
"I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall. That being said, no amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused. I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behavior, and will be for my actions moving forward."
Adams also revealed that he has since sought professional help to get sober and take care of his mental health. He has also spent time writing "enough music to fill half a dozen albums" which consists of songs centered on "the lessons I've learned over the last few years."
"I hope that the people I've hurt will heal. And I hope that they will find a way to forgive me."
The apology is the first statement Adams has made since a lengthy post made on his Instagram last July. In his message, he wrote about truth, finding peace and thanked those who have supported him. "Believe women. Believe truth. But never give up on being part of solutions, healing," he had wrote.