A Donald and Hillary Romance? Read Excerpts From 5 Wild Trump Fanfics

Clinton, Hitler and even Scooby-Doo feature in the imagined love life of the Republican presidential candidate.
Illustration by Andrew Rae

This story first appeared in the April 22 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. To receive the magazine, click here to subscribe.

More than any other presidential candidate, Donald Trump seems designed for fanfic — or, more accurately, slashfic (stories that focus on attraction and sexual relationships) — and writers have taken up the challenge. A quick search of popular fan-fiction sites turns up many weird and wacky entries. THR samples five, from the vaguely normal to the seriously offbeat: 

Trump and Hillary Clinton by iamdauntless4life
"'I think you know why I’m here,' he replied with a deep and seductive voice, and before Hillary could answer, Donald stroked her arm, sending a chill through her body. The sexual tension was almost tangible."

Trump and Hitler by dernyelhackles
"Trump, with the speed of a cheetah on crack, ran over to Hitler and bowed at his feet. 'OH MY F—ING GOD! IT’S ADOLF HITLER! I’M LIKE YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN! PLEASE DO NAUGHTY THINGS TO ME ON MY DESK!' Trump yelled. Hitler was disgusted."

Trump and the Bellboy by Elijah Daniel
"I was stacking someone’s tacky luggage when the door behind me swept open. My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and see the golden god behind these scents, but I couldn’t move. I was frozen."

Trump and Scooby-Doo by Frostly-Lemons

"'Hey, I’m the president of the USA, Donald Trump, maybe you’ve heard of me?' Normally a dog wouldn’t be able to respond, but this Great Dane could because it was actually Scooby-Doo, and as established in the Scooby-Doo canon, Scooby-Doo could talk."

Trump and My Little Pony by 12werqt

"Donald went inside the house and met Rarity, Spike, Twi, RD, PP and Fluttershy. He really, really liked AJ though right from the start because she also voiced her opinions on Mexicans and Syrians. 'They ain't pee-puh!' she said. Trump smiled. She was pretty."