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Take a nap. Get a shower. Call Chuck. Go on Letterman and make an apology. Write a huge check to the B’Nai B’rith. And then beg for your job back.”
— Alec Baldwin
The actor’s advice to fired sitcom star Charlie Sheen.
“The new Real World makes Jersey Shore look like it was written by Sorkin.”
— Jessica Conrad
The Saturday Night Live writer on The Real World: Las Vegas, MTV’s latest incarnation of its reality stalwart.
“I would watch television, and I would think about the news and talk to the television alone in a room in the way every producer involved in a show does. Sometimes my wife would remind me I was alone in the room.”
— Ben Sherwood
The president of ABC News on how he coped with not working in the industry after leaving his executive producer post at Good Morning America in 2006.
“I don’t want to be that girl when I’m meeting with [my accountants and lawyers], where I’m like, ‘Uh-huh, great.’ I now can say: ‘What’s the net present value on that? What’s the discounted cash flows of that?’ And that’s because of Harvard.”
— Tyra Banks
On attending classes at Harvard Business School for the past year.
“The fact is, an affluent 58-year-old is certainly more valuable than a 22-year-old who is just getting by.”
— David Poltrack
The chief research officer at CBS Corp. on TV networks now targeting baby boomers.
“Totally forgot to brush up on my most needed @SXSW skill: pretending to know people who know me until I can remember who they are. Me dummy.”
— Gavin Purcell
The Late Night With Jimmy Fallon co-producer tweeting from the South by Southwest festival in Austin.
“I hate to sound like an old man now, but I am, and you mark my words: In a generation from now, people are going to say, ‘What happened?’ Steve Jobs is personally responsible for killing the music business.”
— Jon Bon Jovi
The musician on his thoughts about iTunes.
“Japan called me. They said ‘maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they’re all sinking.’”
— Gilbert Gottfried
The comedian tweeting about Japan’s crisis. He was later fired by Aflac after years of voicing the insurer’s duck mascot.
“I don’t even know if I’m on Luhrmann’s radar. Maybe he’ll read this article after the role’s cast and say: ‘Oh. Ha. Yeah, that guy was never going to get it.’ ”
— Bradley Cooper
On telling The New York Times he wants to play Tom Buchanan in Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming The Great Gatsby.
“Advertisers are scared to death of this. They told us point blank, ‘It’s too politically hot.’ ”
— Stan Hubbard
President and CEO of ReelzChannel, which is owned by Hubbard Broadcasting, on miniseries The Kennedys not attracting major sponsors.
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