"I have not pooped in four days -- four days!"
I have not pooped in four days — four days!”
— Kristen Wiig: The Bridesmaids writer-actress, opening her speech by explaining she had been traveling and nervous, at Elle‘s Women in Hollywood dinner at Beverly Hills’ Four Seasons Hotel.
“Ten years from now, people will be sharing about 1,000 times as many things as they do today.”
— Mark Zuckerberg: The Facebook CEO, speaking at a Stanford University conference about the future of social networks.
“We’re beyond the statute of limitations, so I can’t get sued for vandalism.”
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— Steven Spielberg: The Lincoln director, revealing that as a child he smeared peanut butter on the house of a neighbor who made anti-Semitic remarks to him.
“God just wanted to mix up my life. ‘This girl can’t get everything! I’m going to give her a broken picker.’ “
— Halle Berry: The actress, reflecting on her poor romantic choices, which resulted in spousal abuse, infidelity and a custody fight over her daughter, Nahla.
“It’s a carrot, but it’s the worst-tasting carrot I’ve ever tasted. … It’s the stupidest thing in the whole world.”
— Joaquin Phoenix: The actor, commenting on the Academy Awards amid talk that he might get an Oscar nomination for his performance in The Master.
“Mitt’s entire debate strategy: What he just said, but from a white guy.”
— Bill Maher: The HBO host, tweeting about the third presidential debate Oct. 22, after which Romney was widely criticized for repeatedly saying he agreed with Obama’s various foreign policies.
“Do you ever get sick of actors that make $15 million a picture, or … $200,000 for voiceover work that took … one hour and 43 minutes … and then complain about their jobs?”
— Michael Bay: The Transformers director, on his website responding to Hugo Weaving, who called his work as Megatron’s voice “meaningless.” Bay later took down the post.
“My first fake pregnancy rumor! I’ve finally made it! :)”
— Lea Michele: The Glee actress, responding on Twitter to tabloid speculation that she appeared to be pregnant.
