In Fallon’s “Thank You Notes” segment, people or organizations get a condescending correspondence of gratitude for the not-so-good things they’ve done. Coen took note and created his own.
Coen even added Fallon to the list of culprits he deems responsible for this week’s election results that gave Trump victory over Hillary Clinton.
The piece, titled “2016 Election Thank You Notes,” starts off the list of eight with “Jill Stein voters,” and Coen uses the opportunity to blame those who supported Stein, which in turn hampered Clinton’s chances of winning. “If your vote for Ms. Stein did not end up advancing your green agenda, it did allow you to feel morally superior to all the compromising schmoes who voted for Hillary Clinton. And your feelings about your vote are more important than the consequences of your vote. So — thank you!”
Fallon was fifth on the list, with Coen accusing the host of humanizing Trump, ultimately helping his campaign. “How did you manage to shine a nonthreatening light on someone who alarms so many women, frightens so many undocumented families and slurs so many minorities? Can’t have been easy! Thanks!”
“All our media friends” was one group mentioned, as Coen used Clinton’s email controversy as the main indicator of how things spiraled out of control due to the overwhelmingly biased coverage of the issue. “Thank you for preserving reportorial balance. You balanced Donald Trump’s proposal that the military execute the innocent families of terrorists against Hillary’s emails. You balanced pot-stirring racist lies about President Obama’s birth against Hillary’s emails.”
Coen also thanked the media for “following Les Moonves’ principled lead when he said Donald Trump ‘may not be good for America, but he’s damn good for CBS.’ “
Coen added the Electoral College to the list by simply saying: “Thank you for being you.”
He also expressed his inability to thank Clinton for being a woman running against a man whose qualifications didn’t measure up to hers. “I cannot thank: Hillary Clinton. She is not a morally perfect person — her fault! She was not the perfect candidate — her fault! Misogyny may have magnified her failings so as to show them balancing the outsized failings of her opponent — and that might not be her fault.”
Others who made the list include Gary Johnson voters, James Comey, Anthony Weiner, who received a thank you for “also finding a surprising way to contribute!” and the American electorate, who received the final tribute: “We did it! We really did it!”