Sofia Vergara‘s ex-fiance is going public with the former couple’s feud over their frozen embryos, making his case to bring them to term in a New York Times op-ed about why he filed a complaint against the Modern Family actress in August 2014.
In the article, businessman Nick Loeb explains that his 2014 complaint against Vergara was an effort “to protect two frozen embryos I created with my former fiancee.” Loeb said that his intentions were to keep the suit private.
“When we create embryos for the purpose of life, should we not define them as life, rather than as property?” Loeb questions the reader. “A woman is entitled to bring a pregnancy to term even if the man objects. Shouldn’t a man who is willing to take on all parental responsibilities be similarly entitled to bring his embryos to term even if the woman objects?”
Vergara’s former beau said that the couple agreed to in vitro fertilization and a surrogate, and signed a form that stated embryos created through the process could only be brought to term with the consent of both parties. Loeb said that he is asking to have the form voided as it did not specify what would happen if the couple separated.
“Many have asked me: Why not just move on and have a family of your own? I have every intention of doing so,” Loeb wrote. “But that doesn’t mean I should let the two lives I have already created be destroyed or sit in a freezer until the end of time.”
The businessman described that he has dreamed of parenthood “for as long as I can remember.” His mother left when he was a year old, leaving his father as the sole parent; he saw his mother again at the age of nine, and she died when he was 20. Loeb wrote: “This made me yearn for the type of family based on the images one might see in a Norman Rockwell painting.”
Loeb described that his father was not around much when he was a child, and he was left in the care of Irish nanny Renee, who died earlier this month and whom he deemed “essentially my mother.”
When Loeb was in his 20s, he said that a girlfriend of his had an abortion, and he has since “dreamed about a boy at the age he would be now.” Later, Loeb was previously married to a woman — she left him while he was running for a seat in the Florida State Senate — who was unable to get pregnant in their four-year marriage.
In 2010, Loeb said he met Vergara prior to her career taking off, and he didn’t want to “pressure her” about children, “as I wanted her to fulfill her dreams and reap the rewards of her hard work.” Six months into the relationship, Loeb’s pelvis was shattered in a car accident that showed him “how life could change in the blink of an eye.”
When the couple got engaged in 2012, Loeb said he “began to push for children.” As in the complaint, Loeb said Vergara requested a surrogate. The pair created two female embryos, both of which led to unsuccessful pregnancies with the use of a surrogate mother.
In 2013, Loeb says the they created two more female embryos. When the discussion of surrogates came up again, Loeb said, “it became clear once more that parenthood was much less urgent for her than it was for me.” The couple had been together for four years, and Loeb was approaching 40; he presented her with an ultimatum, she refused and the two split up.
Loeb said that he asked Vergara a few months later to allow him to have the embryos and that he would “pay for all expenses to carry our girls to term and raise them. If she did not wish to share custody, I would take on full parenting responsibilities and agree to have her declared an egg donor.” Vergara refused.
“In my view, keeping them frozen forever is tantamount to killing them,” Loeb said. The businessman hopes “it won’t be too late” for his 85-year-old father to see grandchildren be born.
“I take the responsibility and obligation of being a parent very seriously,” Loeb concluded. “This is not just about saving lives; it is also about being pro-parent.”