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If your Instagram feed has been flooded with videos of creepy, animated versions of your friends dancing on a stripper pole, you can thank China for that.
The latest Insta-craze, MyIdol, is a free app created by the forward-thinking people of Chinese company Huanshi Ltd. that allows users to transform their selfies into 3D avatars, which can then be edited to become your doll-like mini me. The fashion community, including SophiaAmoruso, Marc Jacobs and supermodel Lindsay Ellingson, has gone digital — so obviously you should, too.
By far the most entertaining and completely necessary function of the app, however, is the ability to watch your mini me perform activities including (but not limited to) “bringing sexy back,” playing traditional Chinese drums with a vigor usually seen only in street performers or — the most “WTF?” activity of them all — jumping stripper-style out of a giant first-aid kit and throwing pills the size of burritos into the air. Yes, that’s a thing.
At the moment, the MyIdol app is only available in Chinese, making navigation a bit complicated but also kind of exciting.
So if you’ve been messing around on the app for a few hours and still haven’t figured out how to choose the correct gender, take a quick second to read our handy guide. Your perfect pole-dancing avatar awaits.
1. To change your gender from the male default, tap the clothing icon. Locate the two center characters on the top bar and tap the icon on the right side. Voila, you’re a woman!
2. If you’re interested in having nightmares tonight, use the age scale (the stopwatch icon) to add 50 years to your youthful complexion. Proceed to live the rest of your life in fear of the future.
3. To seamlessly blend your face with the doll’s, tap the magical paintbrush icon and use the first slider to smooth away any indication that this doll is not, in fact, you.
4. We suggest that you ignore the second slider within the magical paintbrush tool, unless you want to know how pale your corpse will look when the life is drained out of it.
5. To give yourself a #flawless complexion, use the third slider under the magical paintbrush icon to erase all signs of humanness.
6. To see what you might look like if you ever take the tropical vacation you’ve been dreaming of, tap on a warmer skin color. Slide the fourth bar to add an increasingly luminous glow. Next, dress your doll up in a pretty bikini and cry real life tears because you are: 1. Playing with a doll and 2. That imaginary doll has a better life than you.
7. To save your masterpiece, tap the character in the upper rightmost corner.
Thanks pictorial icons, the rest of the commands are pretty self-explanatory. We suggest that you next take a look at the video options.
Return to the home screen by tapping the character in the uppermost right- hand corner. If you’d like to see your mini me pretend to eat and then throw a paper airplane, leave it by its lonesome for 20 seconds. But don’t leave it for too long, or it will get angry and wave a flag in your face. Or try to catch a butterfly.
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When you’ve returned to the home screen, we suggest embracing the inevitable culture shock that accompanies browsing through the various videos (video camera icon), photos (person silhouette icon) and GIFs (smiley face icon) that you will fight the urge to send to all of your friends.
And there you have it. Once you’ve mastered the MyIdol app, there’s no telling how many hours will be lost turning yourself (and possibly your friends, family and favorite celebrities) into animated dolls.
See below for MyIdol inspiration courtesy of Kat Dennings, Miley Cyrus and one user who made a Morgan Freeman doll sing “Let It Go.” Worth it.
— Valentina Vee (@valentinavee) April 23, 2015
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