Late Night Lately: Jeff Goldblum Raps, Debates Round Two, Kimmel Picks 'Bachelorette' Winner

8:00 AM 8/3/2019

by THR staff

The Hollywood Reporter's Late Night Lately rounds up the best sketches and guests with a look at what's to come next week.

Late Night Lately Aug 3 - Publicity - H 2019
Lloyd Bishop/NBC; ABC/Randy Holmes; Cliff Lipson/CBS

The Hollywood Reporter's Late Night Lately is a one-stop shop for all of the most memorable moments of late-night TV, coming to you each Saturday morning to ease you into your weekend.

So pour your coffee, set your DVR for the week and sit back. Below are a few of the week's best, funniest and strangest late-night moments that you can't afford to miss.

This week: CNN hosted the second round of Democratic debates and Seth Meyers, Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert were there to recap the two-night event. Also this week, Jimmy Kimmel, who accurately chose who this season's Bachelorette would pick of her pool of men, sat down with Hannah Brown herself after the ABC finale. Plus: Jeff Goldblum dissed James Corden in a rap battle, John Oliver ripped the new U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson and David Spade made his Comedy Central late night debut.

— Compiled by Jennifer Konerman 

  • Colbert, Meyers, Noah Analyze CNN's Democratic Debates

    Following the second Democratic debate, which took place Tuesday in Detroit, The Late Show host Stephen Colbert highlighted the night’s most memorable events, including Bernie Sanders' health care discussion and Elizabeth Warren's assertion that anyone would be a better president than Trump.

    Referencing the 10 candidates onstage and how hard it is to keep track of them, Colbert renamed the event. "We're calling it Democratic Debate Night: Too Many Candidates to Remember ..." he said at the top of the show. "It's hard to sum up what happened tonight," he continued, "it's like the seven dwarfs offering Snow White a poison apple."

    Colbert went on to label candidate Marianne Williamson a "long-shot" guru. He impersonated the activist's use of language and intonation in contrast with the "theatrics" of Sanders.

    Trevor Noah veered into media criticism when he discussed CNN's moderation strategy, specifically CNN's questions that seemed primed to start a fight among the candidates. Noah joked, "Wow, CNN, you catty bitch. Half of those questions might have been, pick three people on the stage, 'Fuck, marry, kill?'"

    Noah gave kudos to Marianne Williamson for the way she discussed systemic racism in American society: "Wow, Marianne Williamson, I didn't know it was possible for a white woman to get that much attention from black people without calling the cops," Noah said to some gasps in the audience. 

    Seth Meyers concluded that "this debate basically seemed like a bunch of moderates trying to take on Warren and Bernie," said Meyers. "Warren and Bernie teaming up to fend them off was like watching Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen take on the Washington Generals."

    Meyers also took on Williamson, who earned a round of applause after she spoke about the water crisis in Flint, Michigan. "Wait, was that good? Is Marianne Williamson like one of those albums you have to listen to a couple of times before you figure out what they were trying to do? Is Marianne Williamson jazz?" 

    Following the second night of debates in Detroit, Colbert weighed in on the heated exchanges between Biden and Harris. But Colbert couldn't let Biden's misstep with his closing remarks go unnoticed. The former vice president mistakenly provided a phone number instead of an online address, as his fellow candidates did. Colbert helped Biden by filling things out: "Go to Joe 30330 ... send an email to Scranton Joe at 1942 at AOL dot org."

    Ahead of the host's commentary, Colbert's band serenaded viewers with Motown Sings the Debates parody hits. Taking a light jab at the lengthy list of politicians onstage tonight, lyrics like "I bet you're wondering how we knew Michael Bennet was running too" were sung to the tune of Marvin Gaye's "I Heard It Through the Grapevine."

    Noah touched on Booker going on "full-on attack mode," when he criticized Biden's criminal reform plan. He recalled one of Booker's lines from the night: "There's a saying in my community, you're dipping into the Kool-aid, and you don't even know the flavor."

    Continued Noah, "This is where Cory was in his element. He had Biden on the ropes. [And] just when you thought that Biden was the target of the night, Tulsi Gabbard comes up from the ring and slams Kamala in her chair." The latter was a reference to the way Gabbard came after Harris about her history with criminal justice policies. 

    "It was almost like Quentin Tarantino wrote this part of the debate," Noah quipped. "Everyone coming after everyone."

    Meyers brought up Biden's opening comment to Harris ("Go easy on me, kid"). Meyers joked, "Hey man, if you don’t want to seem old, maybe don’t talk like you’re in a Humphrey Bogart movie."

    The NBC host also touched on the "Kool Aid" moment between Biden and Booker. Of the moment, Meyers joked: "Damn. There is no way Biden even knows what that means. Because I am 35 years younger than him and I don’t even know what it means."

  • Kimmel Chats With Embattled Bachelorette

    Jimmy Kimmel prides himself on his ability to accurately predict who the Bachelors and Bachelorettes will pick on the ABC reality show each season, and sure enough, the host was correct this time around: Hannah Brown picked Jed in the show's finale this week, only to later reveal they split when she found out Jed had only gone on the show to promote his music career. 

    "The engagement was off, even earlier than they're usually off," Kimmel joked, so he sat down with Brown to talk about her decision and what might come next. 

    "How relieved was your dad when you told him you broke up with Jed?" Kimmel asked her, joking about Jed's now-"bad boy" reputation. 

    Kimmel also asked her who she thinks should be the next Bachelor. She named Peter and Mike after Kimmel assured her not to think of them as her "ex-boyfriends," just "people who were on a show you were also briefly on."

  • Jeff Goldblum Disses James Corden and 'Cats' During "Drop the Mic"

    Jeff Goldblum dissed the Cats trailer, "Crosswalk the Musical," Gavin & Stacey and more during Monday's Late Late Show when he joined James Corden for "Drop the Mic."

    Once the two competitors made their way to the stage, Corden asked Goldblum if he was ready. "I'm so ready to eat your lunch and drink your milkshake," said Goldblum. "They're gonna call you Corden bleu."

    The host said he would joke with him about almost anything, including sports, politics and sex, but "if you ever joke about stealing my fucking lunch again, I will finish you," he said.

    Goldblum began by poking fun at the Cats trailer. "I saw the Cats trailer and quickly noticed you / You were the weirdest part of it and that's hard to do," he rapped. "Seeing you as a cat was completely unnerving / But how you look in real life is somehow more disturbing."

    For Corden's second round, the host noted that Goldblum's role in a jazz band somehow makes the genre "more white" and joked that Goldblum looked like "Nick Kroll made a wish to be big."

    Goldblum used a similar tactic in his next round when he told Corden that he looked "like Andy Richter ate Conan O'Brien." He continued, "And you host the Tonys for actors who sing / which is funny because you suck at both those things."

  • John Oliver Rips New U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson

    Five days after Boris Johnson was voted in as the United Kingdom's new prime minister, John Oliver took the politician to task on Last Week Tonight.

    The former London mayor and British foreign secretary takes over from Theresa May, having beaten out current foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt in an election last week. Oliver made the argument that Johnson's "bumbling Brit" persona is manufactured.

    Noting that Johnson has been called the "British Trump," Oliver argued that Johnson is "more complex" than Trump. He showed a clip of another interview in which Johnson admits that sometimes he finds that it's better to act like he doesn't actually know what he's doing so people aren't sure if he's joking or not.

    "He presents his own lack of of preparation so charmingly that you actually doubt he is unprepared, but he is," Oliver said. "Can you imagine Trump having that level of self-reflection?"

  • David Spade Makes His Late-Night Debut

    David Spade made his debut as the host of Comedy Central's Lights Out on Monday. Spade kicked off the episode by catching up his viewers on highlights from the summer, joking about Dark Phoenix, Caitlyn Jenner, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jeffrey Epstein.

    His comedian friends Whitney Cummings, Erik Griffin and Neal Brennan joined him to discuss Instagram's latest feature, which hides the number of likes on a post. Spade explained that Instagram originally said the change was to help people with their mental health, though some believe that the new feature was implemented to help advertisers and to make more money.

    "I think Instagram worried about mental health is like the drug dealer putting vitamins in the crack pack that they're gonna give you," said Griffin. "It's like when McDonald's is selling a salad."

    Cummings added that she thought it was "ridiculous" to blame Instagram for mental health problems. "We're ignoring the fact that the real problems for all of our mental health issues are terrible parenting," she said. "I feel like this is the best time in the world to be a shitty parent cause you just get to blame it all on Instagram."

    "Instagram not having likes would be like doing stand-up without getting laughs, which you're used to, Spade," added Brennan.

  • Late-Night Lineup: Aug. 4-10

    Monday, Aug. 5
    The Late Show With Stephen Colbert: Comedian Hannah Gadsby returns to late night as she performs her latest stage show, Douglas.

    Watch What Happens Live: BH90210's Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling stop by the clubhouse for some inevitable '90s gossip. 

    Thursday, Aug. 8
    Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert: Both shows are advertising a "special guest" on Thursday — dare we hope it's a late-night crossover event?